Hi everyone,:smilewave, I'm finally out after 46 years - two marriages, three kids - and happy to be here. I am really nervous about meeting other gay men - I worry about being judged or rejected - and am not sure how to begin since I'm living in a rural east Texas town. I've checked out ******, S***** and *******, but I don't know if I'm even ready to date - I just need some friends. My wife is very supportive of my coming out - I lived as a bisexual for the last 13 years but was monogamous. She wasn't stunned but was certainly upset. That's been nearly four months ago and I've since come out to everyone - parents, brother, extended family and friends. I started a blog to detail the process but I guess I can't share it here. My wife is currently finishing nursing school and then we will move to Houston together with our 10-year-old son. We plan to get a three-bedroom place, have separate bedrooms and live as friends so we can continue to co-parent and to save on expenses as we begin sorting out our separate lives. I really want to meet new people but don't have any desire to rush into anything and yet I'm overwhelmed with the desire to be with another man again after so many years. I was very shy as a teenager and didn't date until I met my first wife. After she died at 29 with breast cancer, I had a hard time dating for the first time at 31, but eventually met my current wife, never really considering the possibility of coming out then. I was so dependent on my parents for help with two small kids and didn't know a single gay man so the idea seemed ludicrous. I did have a few new encounters with a guy I had messed around with in high school, but he was a crazy, gay-hating moron and made the possibility of coming out seem even more remote. So, here I am at 46, working on single life, scared of my own shadow it seems and not sure where to begin. I am currently unemployed as I left my former career as a high school English teacher to go on disability for chronic daily migraines three years ago. Through medication and quarterly botox injections, my docs and I have gotten my migraines under control. I've got to get back to work soon which makes the rest of my life seem overwhelming. I see a therapist regularly (he's gay also) and he has encouraged me to get out and 'find my people' but I don't know where to start. I hope this hasn't been too rambling - I write really well, but have so much to say...
Nope...it's nto at all rambling. Look at my introductory thread...you'll see that you're not at all alone in this. At least you have "come out". I am still trying tho come to terms with it...only recently, very recently, did I actually accept (97%) that I am gay, but it's hard. I have no idea where to begin, what to do, or how to go about it. You may wonder why I'm telling you this...simply to show you that you're not alone. Many of us are lost and have no idea what we're doing. It's difficult...VERY difficult. But at least you've made the first big step...accepting it for yourself.
Wow. Very interesting. Well, I can't understand what it's like to like men like that so I can't really help you that much but if you ever just need a hug, you know where to find me!
