Hi, folks. I'm new to the forum, and new to the idea of finally having a label to describe what it is that I am and how I feel. I'm (almost) 42, AFAB, and married to a cisgender man. I consider myself heterosexual, but I've never felt fully female in a gender sense. I've never done the things women are supposed to do, been interested in the things women are supposed to be interested in (other than men, I guess), or like many of the things women are supposed to like. I was a "tomboy" as a child and basically I never outgrew that. I've never had any real desire to change my body to fit the gender I feel I am, and I don't feel a sense of genderfluidity: I basically feel a bit androgynous all of the time. When I dress in a gender-conforming way (for work, etc), I feel like I'm wearing a costume, a disguise. I feel disconnected from traditional notions of femininity and womanhood. I'm "out" to my husband about all of these things, but for years, I've struggled with a label for this thing that I am. (Hell, I spent decades trying to understand if this thing I am is really a "thing" or if I'm just fucked up.) I've always felt an affinity for other people on the QUILTBAG spectrum, but wasn't sure where (or if) I fit on that continuum. A few weeks ago, I stumbled on the term "demigender" and after some reading and a lot of soul-searching, I feel that's really a good description of how I feel about my gender. I feel partly woman, and partly something else: a little masculine, I suppose, but more something that's beyond my ability to define. So hi. I'm here to explore these ideas in a safe space. :icon_redf
