Hi everyone, I am new to empty closets and I found it in the process of looking for a place that I can get feedback and give to people that might be in similar situations. A little bit about myself, I am about to be 19 years old. Ever since I was as young as 11/12 I have "experimented" with females. I have enjoyed playing house and acting as a married couple with my friends. I had always thought this is normal. Growing up, I have always been a free spirit. I believe that a person can love someone regardless of what they identify as. It started off online that I would talk to other females and such. I never really told anyone about my interest except for a few close friends. All of my relationships have been with men but Ive always had that curiosity and "what if." About 3 years ago I was talking heavily to a girl, she was beautiful and I had alot of genuine feelings, but it was kept a secret. Recently I have made the effort to go out and experiment a little and hooked up with one girl twice. It was honestly amazing and it was so different, I cant even explain the feeling. I think the female human body is beautiful, and it was very enjoyable. But, under the circumstances that I dont want to tell anyone about it, its hard for me to find a woman I can date. So, here i am and I hooked up with a man. Honestly, it almost felt like I was detached from the situation. I cant say that it wasnt enjoyable but it almost felt like i wasnt supposed to be there, it isnt right. Part of the reason I am so scared to come out and explore is because my ex is against it, and we broke up on good terms and i dont want to hurt him. I guess I'm just really lost at this point and I'm not sure what to do. Theres a part of me that wants to hold a woman, love her, and cherish her. Because love with a woman is so much different to me. At this point, I dont really know what I am and it hurts. I feel a constant need to find out and Im just honestly lost at words at this point. Any feedback would be so appreciated. It would really feel nice to talk to someone about it.
Hey DKH. First off let me just say that you aren't alone in not knowing who you are. I'm still questioning things too. I'm not out to many people myself so I know how hard that can be, especially trying to date. All I know is that you have to be true to yourself-and finding out who you are takes time. I hope that helps in some small way.
Hey, I'd say you should experiment and find out what suits you best. Although maybe getting into a relationship with a woman with the purpose of simply experimenting is a bit harsh x'3 And about your ex, although i don't know the story, i'd say to not think about them being against it, as it is none of their business if they are your ex anyway, and they shouldn't be against it. And if they become hateful because of something so simple as loving a few girls they probably aren't worth having a good relationship with anyway.
