Hi everybody just coming to terms that I am bisexual am 43.Ive tried to fight it for a long time I was sexual abused by my brother at a young age and feel this is what has caused these feelings.I feel like I hate myself when I give in to these feelings
I am so sorry to hear about what your brother did to you but, you should know, even though it is a commonly held belief among some people, being sexually assaulted or raped by a person of the same gender as yourself hasn't been shown to make you bisexual or gay. So, yeah, anyway, congratualtions for finally admitting to yourself that you are bisexual It must be especially difficult for you as you have the incident(s) with your brother and your bisexuality as one and the same thing in your mind. Even though I have known a handful of people who have been sexually assaulted in my time, I have no direct experience of rape or sexual assault myself; So, I am sorry but all I can do is say that it must have been a terrible experience and I am sorry you had to go through that. Cyber-hugs are a terrible substitute for the real thing But I'll give you one anyway (*hug*) Congrats again for coming out to yourself - Its a big step and not to be underestimated. (!) And, welcome to EC.
Hi, Gaz, and welcome. It takes a lot to talk about these vulnerable things and you are making a huge step forward by doing so. For what it's worth, what we know from the research on sexual abuse is that while it can cause someone to question themselves at an earlier age than they otherwise might, there is zero credible evidence that abuse in any way alters sexual orientation. It can cause confusion, but doesn't actually change who you are. In other words... What happened to you was terrible. But from all we now know... it did not make you bi or gay. That has always been a part of who you are. I also suggest getting Mic Hunter's wonderful book 'Abused Boys'. It is one of the best books on the subject of male sexual abuse. And finding a therapist with extensive experience with male abuse survivors will also be important. You are taking big steps... And I promise you that it will be worth it.
Hello and welcome to EC. It's a big step accepting that you are gay and equally challenging to talk about vulnerable feelings such as sexual abuse. You're a real brave person and remember you have a place here.
