Hi everyone, I'm hoping someone may have some insight or advice for me. I'm a 29yr old Female from Australia. I have up until relatively recently thought of myself as straight. I have not been in a real relationship with anybody of any gender (boyfriend when I was 17 but that really doesn't count as nothing happened). At the time of my "relationship" when I was 17 I was uncomfortable with him touching me (holding me hand etc). He once tried to kiss me and it was yuck. I have thought I was asexual/ or similar for a few years as i dont seem to experience much attraction to people. I have always had an issue with men where I dont like or trust them. This is deeply in grained in me and seems instinctual (there is no serious trauma in my past). Men dont seem to like me, so I had gotten used to accepting I would be along for my life. Reading about asexuality, I found out about the different types of attraction (sexual, Romantic etc). I still dont know if I have experienced sexual attraction. I struggle with the definitions. I have noticed that I have always be unable of imaging a life with a male partner. Up until recently I had never though, what about a female partner. Recently i asked myself this question and low and behold, I can imagine my life (I can see it) with a same sex partner. This was a high shock for me and it excited me to think maybe I wont have to be alone forever. It was like an unveiling of a curtain I didn't know was down. I have now started taking notice of myself around females, and I am much more comfortable around them and notice their physical attrubutes. I have watched lesbian porn and can see myself being intimate with a female. Im confused. any help would be great.
Breath in, breath out xD I also struggle with definitions. I am sexually attracted to men and romantic to both (still figuring out this thing). Example of my own situation: something about the word "gay" does not seem to fit me, but I'm not even ashamed to say that I like guys (I think it's because my entire life I would just force myself to think that these kinds of attractions were wrong and that I'm a "straight guy with these thoughts". Maybe thats way i have problems classifying me). In my opinion, you don't have to worry about tags like gay, straight, lesbian, bi, asexual... just do what you like to do and relax. There is so much forms of love/attraction that just make all definitions so limited. Sorry not helping about the relationship topic, I am the worst example hahahah Welcome to the forum (newbie here)
I hope im doing this right ive never done this before. XD Im new to but im so glad you said dont worry about the tags. Title like those to be honest arnt even real and I say this as a gay man with absolutely no sexual attraction to women at all so I guess that makes me a hypocrite but I do believe real emotions sexual and other wise are way to fluid to be restricted with titles. Those are just words that eather A give you a sense of belonging or B make it easyer for others to understand you. Figure yourself out first and then see which tags or titles fit to you and most importantly have fun while doing it. I know something this serious shouldnt be taken as a joke but the end game is your personal happiness how do you get there without being a little happy on the way.
