Learning about my identity

Hello, folks

The name I decided to use for this site is WhisperedSmile, meant to elude to a soft emission of happiness. I'm 22, female, 5ft tall and living in the far north. I'm an introvert, and I haven't had a place to anonymously express myself for a long time, so here I am.

It's been some time now since I first had the realization that I probably like girls. If I'm being honest with myself, I knew in elementary school because I had a crush on my closest friend who was a beautiful dancer. In middle school and high school some of my female friends told me that they would date me if I was bisexual, and had let me know that they were regularly flirting with me.

A few years ago I posted some pictures of myself on an explicit website to gain some self-confidence about my body, and I found that after the swelling of positive attention from lots of guys, I kept searching for a girl I could chat with in a flirtatious way. I never found one to chat with.

Fast forward to now, where I live with a great boyfriend who I've been with for about 2 years. I'm in a really wonderful, happy, and supportive relationship, but especially lately I find I'm fantasizing and dreaming about being with girls instead. There was even a point over the summer where I broke down crying after telling my guy that I didn't want to have sex that night -- that night was the only time I mentioned to him that I think I like girls. I didn't have a big conversation about it, and he was totally fine with it, but I didn't want to admit just yet that I'm probably bisexual. I might even be straight up lesbian, I don't know.

Basically I'm here tonight to find some support, and folks I can chat with and learn from. I'll mostly be reading other posts and making blog entries once I find out how to do that.

For now, thanks for being here, and hello! I'll move back into the woodwork now.