Ummmm don't know where to start. I love women and i still do. However, in the past couple months i have found myself getting turned on by gay and transsexual porn. This past two weeks i find myself on craigslist ads looking at guys and it turns me on alot. Now in the past drunk i have held hands with a guy and i caught my self caressing a guys face one time but i had way too much tequilla in those two occurances. Also, i did have an unfortunate situation as a kid. At the age of about of 9 a family member raped me off and on for about two years. I've kept that hidden for almost 20 + years, unfortunately. Anyways, ive always enjoyed sex with women and i still do. They still turn me on! So now im at a point where i want to have sex with a guy and this is messing me up big time! I can go either way.... I guess. I dont know. Both women and men turn me on. Confused!
Glad you found EC. There is a ton of support here. Not wanting to get to heavy in welcome, but did you ever go to therapy to discuss the abuse?
Welcome to EC, I'm sorry for what happened to you. Getting turned on by trans/gay porn isn't really a clear indicator for sexual orientation, though. Have you ever crushed on a guy ?
I have had therapy for what i went through but it wasnt really that helpful. As far as, having a crush on a guy, i dont think so. I catch myself checking out guys though.
The reason I asked was I was also sexual abuse as a child, from ages 4 to 9. I did therapy on and off. Well I'm back in now that I have accepted that in gay. As weird as it sounds, I thought people would think that what they did was OK because I'm gay. That's one of the reasons I tried not to be. Anyway, that's more info than I meant to share in your welcome, sorry for going so deep.
No need to apologize! Thank you for sharing! Honestly, after posting on here and reading a couple of threads on here i feel so much better. However,, after reading what i posted earlier, i would like to apologize to the folks on here. I came off too strong. When im very emotional i dont choose my words very well.
