Hey, new friends. I'm a 31 year old female. I've been shoving myself back in the closet for about 15 years because I was really religious and worked for concervative Christian agencies. I did all the support groups an had people pray for me a lot, trying to stay in my closet in order to try to follow what the Bible seemed to say. Over the last months or maybe several years, my faith is falling apart. Which means that I can finally wonder, what if I could actually like who I am? What if I could actually be proud of who I am? What if maybe I don't have to be single forever? What if I could feel good about being a whole, sexual person? What if I could have the same grace for myself that I have for other people? I need to do a lot of processing right now regarding my sort of "ex-gay" experience though I never liked calling it that. Also, needing to process figuring out if there is any spirituality I can save rather than just completely scrapping and throwing out that whole area of life (which is what I am kind of doing now, but it seems a bit excessive). Could someone point me in the right direction for forums and threads where those could be topics? Thanks! Katchoo
Welcome to EC! I admire how you are taking the lead in your life and allowing yourself to be happy. I'm not that good at forum surfing but I still wanted to say that you don't have to abandon your religion or even less your faith. I'm a Christian and I volunteer at my church and get involved in different activities. Okay, our church is a little bit different since I'm a Lutheran but my basic idea of God is that He loves me no matter what and even if being gay is somehow sinful (which I don't understand because hey, more love, what could possibly be bad about that?) that doesn't mean that God wouldn't forgive me or have mercy on me. And actually all of us sin and all of us (the ones who want to) have to confess and apologize. The main thing that God and Jesus have taught us is to love each other and take care of each other, treat each other the way we would want ourselves to be treated. And I'm really shocked every time a Christian says something like "I hate gays" or "you're gonna burn in hell" because in the end, God is the one who gets to decide where we end up. He's the one who can judge me and I'd like to think that He sees the work I've done for Him and my love for other people and Him before He sees my "sin".
Generally, my faith is falling apart, so then I am reconsidering how I interact with my sexuality, not that my sexuality is making me want to chunk my faith. (Though in retrospect, maybe it should have? At least, the version of Christianity I was involved in.) I kind of need to figure it out for myself. I don't want to say anything bad about other people's religious experences. Just got to explore it for myself.
Hi Katchoo... I know several of my mom's friends have gone through the same thing you are. I don't think the Creators (God / Goddess) got it wrong... it's their followers that have the problem. I'm Wiccan and so is my mom. Our beliefs embrace diversity. Each one of us has male and female energies with in. There's nothing wrong with how we feel... Welcome to EC..!!!!
Hey, KarenLyn. I've kind of been wondering about Wiccan stuff. I used to joke around that f I weren't a Christian I would go to the woods and beat drums to the sun and the moon. IDK if that's an acitivity that Wiccans actually ever get to do. All I really know about that belief system is what I learned on a recent episode of the podcast Stuff Mom Never Told You, which wasn't really comprehensive.
LOL... We dance naked under the full moon (skyclad)... Ours is an Earth based spirituality where our Sabbaths/Religious holidays revolve around the Solstices and Equinoxes and the rhythm of nature. Ours is to walk with nature... not walk all over nature as people tend to do in this day and age. Our beliefs are very similar to Native American and Buddhist beliefs. Some groups or Covens are Neo Pagan or the new Paganism and others are trying to recreate what we know of the Old ways and practices like many Druidic groups.
