Trying to make a good impression for now till y'all get scared of me... hi.

Hello there,

I am this one lesbian that makes nobody's mind even cross she could be into women. I've seen 'typical lesbians' glare at me as if I was the most hetero girl in the world. But hell I'm not - when out and about in the large, great city that is London, I will almost always bump into a lady that I fancy. And if I don't for a while - then eventually I will come across such a beauty that will occupy my mind for a while. But so what when I ain't got a chance with them... No respecting woman would ever consider such a brat as I.

I'll just reveal my name as A. - I'm not really outed and it's just not my style to wave it around. Even I find LGB folks bragging about their orientation everywhere annoying, the TV type. It's sad that particular group of fools gets so much publicity and ruins it for everyone else. Only if anyone asks directly, face to face, then I'd tell them I am into women. Otherwise I adopt 'assumed straight' everyday demeanour (whilst ogling good-looking women) or just say I'm bi to not get demonised as much. The reality we live in.

I'm femme and always get assumed straight - I've decided this'll be good for the name I'll pass under here. I think I am foully looking, yet men and boys do approach me - they must be real desperate! I don't really know who right in their mind would find me attractive, it's really annoying. If I only had that much success with women..... but of course not. They just take a hold of their boyfriend's hand (like yesterday) or send me dismayed to "you can't have me, little girl" expressions. Oh, and do I need to say I only like femme women too - the more feminine the better - slim statuesque brunettes with long hair and fair eyes along with harmonised features are my type. I'd love to look like a real woman one day, but got so much to catch up from... Getting curvier and my face finally fixing itself up would be a good way to start.

I am 19 but look 15-16 - with make-up that is. Back when I actually was 16.5 I passed as an 11-year-old at a fair to avoid paying for the ticket and nobody batted an eyelid. And my Mum got ID'd at 37 - so I guess the young looks just go in the family. But I find that inconvenient. If I ever want any woman to take interest in me, I need to look like one first. I don't care family tell me I'll love my youthful appearance at 40, when it's highly unlikely I'll be alive then. Death and I got loads to do with each other, and since my heart broke I've turned into a black widow, really.

Suicidal? Check. Depressed? Check. In love? Check.
But it's too long a story for this post. You will find out more and more, gradually and slowly. A lot has happened over 2 years. I've fallen for someone you don't associate with teenage girls' first love. But so did Manuela [cookies for getting the reference :3]. My love puts Victoria's Secret models to shame with Her looks, while Her personality and intelligence are also so appealing... Women like this don't happen, it's less than one-in-trillion-cubed chance.

Had my first woman crush when I was roughly 6.5? I've not had a clue for a long time. I've always wondered how I never came across a boy I'd like. Only 'woke up' when I was 17. All the female fascinations I've had finally got explained. Before, I never made much of gay people, they didn't bother me - they were just there. Funny how it turned I am as well - as somebody else would say, "one of them". Now I realise me and women is a never-ending story - sounds strange considering I've never been in a relationship - though I am more than certain I will always have feelings for the Love of my Life, the Only One. I do not go for or settle with second best. So if anything, I'm fine with being alone for the rest of my life. I guess that's what fate's give me, and I've got to accept it. But the best part of destiny are life twists - like the cold witch that I am finally finding love - that certainly was a miracle! This is once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and I believe if I can devout years of my life - since nothing great comes easy - it may eventually pay off. You just never know.