Hello all, haven't been on in a while. Long story...depression got the better of me had a breakdown from accumulated bad self-image and esteem. Didn't even want to deal with any of my problems, hard to even identify when I got/had that way. Got suicidal and ended up hospitalized, got put on a regime on drugs and exited about two or three weeks thereafter. Drugs and therapy helped some, didn't stick with them for very long though. Stayed with them long enough to realize I didn't want the side effects that I got from everything they had tried. (mainly sleep/digestion problems) Ended up dropping out of school from the stress that I'd get having to repeat. I did come to the realization that it was something that I had to overcome, the drugs actually made me think more; including suicidal thoughts. Just figured that I didn't want to go out that way. After I got off the drugs it got really clear, I did want to do something with my life. I met this guy on a dating website...he turned out to be a douche bag. I didn't see that for a while into the relationship, He only wanted one thing really. He didn't care for me even though I opened up to him, Which he refused to in return. Just didn't contact him after I told him off because he hurt me bad. Got over it and had to learn that I don't need someone to be happy...shouldn't have tried that route to begin with. I just wanted something, something other than just living. Got a job because it distracts me from reality more and I think it has helped me heal. This past summer, I was hurt greatly but ultimately I grew stronger. I'm still fairly asocial, don't really want to change that though.
