Hi! I'm Angelika...well that's my chosen name for when I get my birth certificate changed. It's been an arduous journey of self discovery since my dad died, and the conclusion of which is the realization of knowing that in my heart I am more female than male. My circumstances I am not willing to fully disclose, but let me just say this...for the longest time I was not willing to pursue transitioning over not wanting to be a source of pain for anyone. I'm over that now...if someone else has to be in pain in order for me to be happy, then so be it. Of course this doesn't mean I am going to be the cause of physical pain and suffering, but rather that if my transitioning has to be a source of emotional pain for others, I am ready to accept that that is what it is going top take in order for me to be happy. I am currently living in Phoenix, Arizona. Yay...</facetious> Probably the worst state in the U.S. to be transgender in. My interests are reading, social networking, table-top role-playing (Dungeons & Dragons, Pathfinder), watching movies/tv shows and writing. I am at the start of everything right now...pre-everything.
Welcome to EC. It sounds like you have been through quite a lot already and you may feel anxious about the next stage/s on your journey, so I'm glad you created this profile and have started to reach out for help and support. Many of our members have been through or are going through the same process as you and it may help you a lot to continue to post and share your thoughts and feelings with them. We like to help if we can and you really get out of EC what you put in. Join in when you can and we can try to share your journey.
Welcome to EC, Angelika. I'm 39 as well and similarly-situated. Being real - to yourself and others - is vital to sustained happiness. Welcome to that path! Scary as hell sometimes but damn, it feels good to let your hair down (virtually at first, and gradually in real life) If you need a shoulder to lean/cry on, a place to vent, or questions that you always felt you could never ask - hun, this is the place to be. (*hug*) You go, girl! :welcome:
Thanks for the warm welcome everyone! Actually it is more a combination of dread and excitement. Dread considering how bad things are on the local level for transgender people. Excitement for finally being able to express my creativity in a new way. Thank you! I feel like I am all cried out at this point...of bad things to cry about anyway. I have always been very emotional. Up until the last bout of anger and depression my emotions were able to run even deeper and allowed me to cry tears of happiness. I know that is from getting attuned to my truth and if that switched on just from accepting myself then I can't imagine what emotional roller-coaster is in store for me with HRT.
Hey Angelika! Welcome to Ec! I'm a fellow new member, and everyone here is lovely and supportive, I hope you enjoy yourself
I have to admit that I am quite pleased that I found this forum. I have been looking for one like it for a couple of years and just randomly found EC without looking for LGBT forums a few days ago. I believe that the universe provides. And being that I have decided that I will be seeking psychological help to hopefully start on HRT soon and knowing that I will need a support network of like minded people to help me through that, these forums have magically revealed itself to me.