I hope to learn about others and myself. I am middle aged, never married. I was always attracted to women as a straight man. Visually they catch my eye. I dated a number of women, but although I enjoyed caressing, I never was interested in intercourse. And, when we caressed, I would fantasize about being a female, which I thought was strange. Lesbians seemed to like me and I met several who I liked, without knowing they were gay. I fell in love with a bi girl who was involved in her first lesbian experience. We only held hands. But, I became more comfortable with LGBT people. This was 15 years ago. Since then, my main orientation has been to be the 'female' partner in a relationship with a gay female who enjoys caressing. I stopped dating because I thought this was impossible. I have no desire to cross dress or change genders For some women, few actually, I am attracted to them as an 'alpha male'. I am not attracted to straight men. Gay men don't catch my eye unless they first hit on me. Then I am flattered and excited. The same thing goes with transgender people. I first only had fantasies about women, but in the last 10 years, I. now have them with men and women about equally. I have had opportunities to pursue relationships with gay men who approached me, but chose not to. I actually approached one whose physique I admired in the locker room, but when he responded, I distanced myself. The same with a transgender guy who approached me, and a lesbian. It seems when opportunity to live a fantasy comes along, I back away. I am so confused. Straight women are the first to catch my eye, but I like most as a gay woman. Gay men don't catch my attention unless they hit on me. But, since I enjoy long cuddling sessions and romance, I fear leading them on. I have had long conversations with gay suitors, but they get really mad when I just thank them for talking and walk away. I also feel I would be insulting a lesbian by approaching her. I get the most wonderful feeling though by long cuddling. I am a gentle, non aggressive person. If anybody has any insights, I would appreciate them. Wow, it took a lot for me to admit this.
I'm happy you found this place. Is been immensely helpful to me You have done a brave thing by admitting your feelings. Distancing yourself may just be a fear induced defense mechanism. I used to avoid all things that were even remotely thought of as "gay". I'm still uncomfortable at times, but I know it's something I can overcome. Read through other's stories. You may find insight And inspiration.
Hi, thanks for your welcome. You must have a very interesting story. Can I learn some of it? Do any of my experiences match yours?
Hey welcome to the community. One thing everyone person should learn in life is to be your complete self. Don't be afraid of who you are and try to avoid people. As long as you don't hurt yourself or others, you are fine. Good Luck!
I've only been here a week and have received huge support already. It's a great community here and I'm grateful for them.
Jypclv, It you click someone's name and select statistics, you can click a link to get ask the posts that Kerstin started. That may help you find more about people and see their story. If you where asking me about my time, my threads are a great place to get an idea what I've gone through. I'm only out since March, but already pushed myself to get into lgbt groups and come out almost completely. So, it can be done, by you need to be ready.
You all really helped me quickly. I read and did research. I was questioning because of how others interpreted my behavior, not because of what I really felt inside. I am confident that I am straight, but it took kind LGBT people to help me. Thanks so much.
