Hi all, My name is Jon, and I'm from Denver. I'm 25 and I'm gay, but I have never uttered those words to another person. I think most assume I'm gay -- most of my friends are very perceptive girls that I've known for years. The other day, my best friend of 10 years actually asked me if I was asexual, since I never talk about anything having to do with a love life. I think it was her way of starting the conversation. My immediate family is very open minded, and I'm sure they would be nothing but happy for me if I came out. My extended family is pretty conservative -- they're all catholics -- but they live pretty far away and I barely ever see them. The point of all this rambling is that I know I'm lucky. I know that when I do come out, I will have people around me that support me. But for some reason, I just can't bring myself to utter the words. I've stopped actively trying to hide it, but saying it feels so permanent (even though being gay is certainly not a temporary thing). Does anyone have any advice? I've been pretty depressed about my inability to come out for a while now, but depression doesn't seem to be enough motivation to actually come out. :icon_sad: I'm so glad to have found this forum...thanks!!
Your right, when you come out it seems like you will be fine about it. Now, about the actual coming out. You NEED to not only accept it yourself that your gay, but you need to be o.k. with that, before you start to come out. You need to prepare for the storm before you walk right into it. I would suggest alot of soul searching and question asking. You have to ask the tough questions to get the good answers Your inability to come out obviously stems from some kind of fear - of what? only you know the answer to that. You can start questioning there, and go from that. Just remember, its ok to take your time and there is no rush in coming out. It took me 7 years to utter the words "im gay" to anyone, even though i knew it myself the entire time. If you ever want to talk, you can leave me a wall message on my profile Im an out and proud guy, even though ive had my bumps, and id be happy to help you with any questions you have or just listen if you need someone to vent to. Welcome to EC, and good luck! You have found a great community here.
Hello and welcome to EC Dont worry your definately not alone, I havent really told anyone even though im sure they will be accepting, im coming to the conclusion that its all part of the journey, but yes im very scared. Like Greggers said you should just post in the forums or on peoples walls, everyone here is very friendly and helpful
Your first major step is joining this forum buddy There's alot of people on this forum right now who started off in your position and now their out status is, Out to the WORLD. Haha! Coming out if a gradual process (I should know this one) but your first major step is finding a support group. Anywho! WELCOME and Look forward to seeing you around the forum -Phil -The Walrus
Hi there and welcome to EC. What you're feeling is very normal. I didn't come out until I was in my early 30s - after I'd been married for 9 years. (ouch) Admitting it to yourself is one thing. But saying it to someone else does make it more 'official'. And with that comes the 'expectation' that you'll carry on and live your life that way going forward. And all the uncertainties that come with that are kind of scary. So you're reacting in a very normal way. This is a great forum. I found it really comforting to interact with other gay people here and be able to 'talk' about what I was thinking and feeling - for the very first time. So hang out here, read more of the threads, post your own questions or responses, and just get comfortable with the thought of being gay. It's not easy to get your head around, depending on where you've grown up and what influences you've had in your life. Good luck, and again - welcome. Feel free to send me a 'private message' if you wanted to chat more. (As a moderator here I can send and receive private messages even to new members...)
I'm in a similar situation with a few people. It sucks, and tbh I think it gets harder the older you get too. Don't feel like you have to rush yourself into things though, it's far better to come to terms with things in your own mind first. The more comfortable you are with yourself, the easier it is to come out to people. Either way - welcome to EC, and feel free to drop me a wall message if you want to chat!
Welcome to EC :smilewave EC was the first place the I admitted that I was gay. I was so scared. What you are going through is normal. Just take your time. There is no race in coming out. Hang around here for a bit get comfortable in being gay. One of the best bits of advice I got from here was to go in front of the mirror and say 'I'm gay'. The more you say it the more comfortable with yourself you will become. Right now work on yourself. Its nice for you to know that once you come out you have a family that loves you. When the time comes for you to come out you will know.
Thanks for all your messages -- this seems like a great place to talk things out. It's really great to know there's a place where people can relate. For the longest time, coming out was the farthest thing from my mind. But as I get older, I'm starting to feel like it's really holding me back. I guess there are just some fears that I need to get over. Thanks again - i look forward to getting to know you all
