So...um...Hi... I really don't have a clue where to start. I was so head strong when I wrote the title, but when I clicked down onto the message, I had the biggest brain fart alive. :icon_redf Let me think... I know! I'll start from the beggining. I've known about my orientation for quite some time. Since middle school to be exact. My first bf was actually one of my good friends at the time and we lasted up until he was removed form the school later that year. It wasn't until very recently I came out to my parents. Or they found out by forceful techniques rather. I'd missed the bus earlier that day and just decided to stay home, I'd left my phone on my bed while I went to take a shower to get ready to go and hang out with my Godbrother at the mall. I'd been in the shower for about a half hour when I heard the door open. Me being slow, I thought it was my Godbrother coming in to let me know that he was here and waiting on me, but no, I realized it wasn't when the plastic broom stick parted the curtains and slammed against my back knocking me into the side of the shower wall. I really don't quite recall most of what was said other than my father screaming faggot and homo and other curse words in between blows from the stick and stomping on me with steel toe boots. I tried calling out for help but the contsant pain prevented me from doing so. He stopped momentaraly to blame himself for possibly being the reason, then reached down and grabbed me by the troat and tossed me into my room, a feat not even I would have thought to have been possible outside movies and terribly filmed japanese movies. I remember triying to stand but the sharp pain that shoot through my spine reminds me of the broom stick slamming me back down. This brutal beating ceased after he pressed my phone in my face, somehow expecting me to be able to read it and explain why there were text from other guys giving me their opinion on homosexuality. Then after trying to clean my up and somehow remove the blood from the walls and carpet (all of which failed miserably) he went on to try to justify everthing he did by saying that he only wanted the best for me and that he did this out of love. Naturally, after my mother got home she gave the traditional "what happened to my baby" and "this is the last straw, you're out of the house" routeen to my father. He told her why he did what he did then all the maternal love that she just spilled on me was boiled into rage and she agreed and tried to say that what my father did was alright and that she would have done the same thing! I couldn't have felt more hatred in he even if I tried. I wasnted to kill them both so badly, but my godbrother whom I explained everything to later that week, told me that everthing was going to be alright and that all they needed to know for now was that their oldest child was completely straigt and that this was only a breif phaze and that the day of graduation, I could leave from my parents and he would help me out. My Uncle (well not my real uncle, he's a close family friend that is secretly gay [we kinda had a thing] but is oh so clever at hiding it behind a well thought plan that included inlisting the assistance of his closest lesbian friends) said that I could live with him. But all in all ever since then I've been living a lie to suit the sickenig desires of my parents. And what makes it worse is the simple fact that they are constantly telling me that I can be and do whatever I choose and they would love me unconditionally reguardless of what it is....:***:bastards
o my DODO!!!!! I feel so sorry 4 u right now. my mum didnt really care at all (i havnt told my dad) i so wish i could hug you!!!!! try not to be depressed or sad or angry or murderish!!!!! just try to get through it!!!!!
I'm sorry you went through all this. It sounds like you are going to have to wait to truly come out to them after you leave the house. Then you should be prepared to educate them as well because they are clueless. This really is a worse case scenario. Don't let your Dad hurt you again. Next time you call the police! It might help to go talk to a school counselor also. Maybe they can help with your parents.
its truly a sick way of trying to help your child. It sounds like my mother and your father both have very screwed up ways of trying to help and I am truly sorry this happened to you! As an adult I can look back at all the "lessons" my mother tried to teach me and all the names she called me (she would say she was doing it because if she didn't someone else would...hmm funny no one ever did but her) and realize that is the WRONG way to raise a child. Children should be raised with love and understanding. I look back now and I know she is a sick woman with MH problems and somewhere in her mind she thought she was doing me a service when she actually was damaging my self esteem, my identity and my joy. fortunately I did not come out until I was out of the home (I know if I had my fate on that issue would have been the same as yours) other smaller issues had similar "lessons". Stay strong know you are not alone, when you are out on your own and safe (knowing you have a home and friends who love you) then I hope you can let your rainbow flag fly high. Not everyone will react like that...actually probably no one else will react like that. I pray that you will find support and with support behind you then you can truly shine. I have been on my own since age 17 and its been tough and it has taken me all of the 10 years since to understand (not condone in any way) that she is a very sick person but you never want to think that about your parent. To me her behavior was normal because it is all I ever knew. Break the cycle and devote your life to never making anyone feel the way you felt that day in the shower and know that through love only can you truly help someone. Best wishes and feel free to write me personally. -Jen
:icon_sad: I guess I can't say I'm surprised any more when I read these stories - just really really sad. I'm sorry that your dad did that to you. He didn't beat you for your own good. He beat you out of his own rage, fear, ignorance and lack of self control. He then justified it as being for your own good. Stupid and cowardly. And for your mother to condone it is equally cowardly. But that's them. Not you. It sounds like you're taking the right approach. You'll have to lay low until you can take matters into your own hands. Thankfully you have friends / family that is supportive and they have your back. So do we - at least virtually. (*hug*) Welcome to EC. I saw your post in the thread that I made about my bf and I getting rings, and it was really, really sweet. Thanks! You've come to the right place by finding EC. Welcome. I hope you find some strength and some hope here - even if you don't have it at home.
OMG. *hugs* i know i dont know you but i would really like to take my foot a shove it up you dads.. well i wont finish that. it wouldnt be very nice. welcome to EC and if you ever want to talk im here all the time :]
I'm so sorry about waht you've been through, as everyone else has already said. (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*) Whatever you do, don't ever listen to them.
I know exactly what you mean, where your parents say they want you to be you and then hate it when you they find out who you really are. I'm so sorry you were put through that. (*hug*) PM me any time if you want to talk (or write my wall, whatever). We're here for you.
I'm so sorry that happened to you. It makes me feel very lucky that my parents are so open-minded. I'm glad you have people to support you. You should definitely go to them, and not let your sick parents hurt you again. I can't believe some people could do such things....
I am so sorry you had to go through that terrible experience. You are in the right place. Welcome to EC!!
Thank you for all your sincere feelings. I do feel at home here and I am so glad I came to this place to get away from my life. You all have had a great impact on my life. Thank you (&&&)
I am so sorry you went thru all that from your parents idk what to say really it's just so sad people act like that still.
That's sick, I can't believe you even had to endure that...imagine how many others get it worse and are never able to tell. It's the 21st century and still people have the mindset of a savage
