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Rolling In

Discussion in 'The Welcome Lounge' started by vintagexsoul, Aug 6, 2016.

  1. vintagexsoul

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    New York State
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I am an artist and a hobby writer, mainly writing in a game with others, but hoping one day I'll get that major break and inspiration to write a novel or novella. I've been doing creative writing since the 4th grade, where I started with short stories about a cat named Sebastian. As a child, I liked to roleplay and write as male characters and it's always stuck with me, that in my fantasy worlds I am male.

    But I'm not transgender or transexual. To be quite honest, I don't know what I am. Today we seem to call it genderfluid or genderqueer. I'm not a fan of labels, but I guess it explains why one day I dress and present myself at times as either gender. Maybe its because I lack a stable identity, well, that probably wouldn't be far off. I'm trying to decide what I want to be. But really, I'm just as at home in these Captain America boxers I'm wearing as I am in one of my lace dresses. A part of me really does identify as a guy. Enough so that I don't entirely feel like a woman. I'm kind of somewhere in between the binary.

    As for sexuality, that's been a topic of question as well. I've been claiming pansexual, but sometimes I feel more asexual. I haven't been in a sexual relationship in 7 years, the last was with a woman. Whom I really loved. And I guess I just haven't been able to do it again. That and there really isn't a community where I live to meet lesbians. I live in the middle of no where in a very conservative region. We don't even have a gay bar anymore. There's a reach out for teens but not for adults. I'm on my own here, and I don't fit into this community at all. I'm this weird outsider though I've been here all my life. I can't find anyone so I kind of gave up altogether. Being with men is very difficult for me due to PTSD trauma. Sure they're attractive, but I'd prefer to keep them at a distance. So maybe panromantic asexual fits. Though I haven't been in love with anyone in 7 years either. I do know, at least, I find both men and women attractive. Femme and butch for lesbians, I don't have a preference.

    Thank you for reading. Looking forward to actually having interactions with LGBTQ people, instead of living in isolation.
     
    #1 vintagexsoul, Aug 6, 2016
    Last edited: Aug 6, 2016
  2. Stewie

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    Other
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    Out to everyone
    Isolation is rarely a good place for the majority of people. It's a pretty good community here.
    Welcome (&&&)
     
  3. PatrickUK

    Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    England
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    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Welcome to EC. It's good to have you on board.

    Thanks for the intro and for sharing all of that with us, it sounds quite difficult. If you need help, support or advice, or just friendly people to talk to, we are here for you. Join in because that's the best way of getting the most out of membership.
     
  4. alexandr

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    uk
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Welcome to the forum! :slight_smile: