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My Story: New Here

Discussion in 'The Welcome Lounge' started by Trace1496, Oct 5, 2016.

  1. Trace1496

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2016
    Messages:
    16
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Birmingham, Alabama
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    I am a 30 year old gay male who lives in the southeastern part of the United States. I realized I was/am gay when I turned 12 years old. I didn't know what it meant at first. I was raised in a sheltered lifestyle, and didn't know anyone who was gay in my hometown. I never experienced anything sexually until I turned 19 and I kissed a man who was 10 years older than me. I knew at that point that I really liked men, but I couldn't come out because I was raised with the idea that gay people were going to hell, so I never said anything. I lived a double life to protect myself. When I was 25 I decided to come out to my father and my step-mother. He took it surprisingly well, but he still thought I was living a sinful lifestyle. When I turned 28 I came out to my mother, and she told me that she couldn't embrace a son who was going to live in a homosexual lifestyle. I was heart broken. I felt discarded, and unloved. She told me that if i wanted her a part of my life I would go to Christian Counseling, and seek help. So I went back into the closet, and began pretending again that I was straight.

    To this day she still thinks that I am straight. I cannot and will not come out again to her. Can anyone else relate to this?
     
  2. Gunsmoke

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 17, 2016
    Messages:
    609
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Manchester, United Kingdom
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Welcome to EC!

    That's honestly such a sad story, I truly hope your mother can learn to accept you for who you are. Your father too, actually, even if he did take it well then he shouldn't tell you that the way you are living is wrong. Few things are more frustrating than being told that your orientation is a "lifestyle".
    I can't personally relate, I'm afraid, but I'm sure there are people on here who can. Maybe you could check out the Later in Life or Sexual and Romantic Orientation forums?

    Again, welcome. :slight_smile:
     
  3. 3n

    3n Guest

    Joined:
    May 16, 2015
    Messages:
    212
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Louisiana
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    All but family
    I know how you feel. My grandparents are extremely unaccepting. Not to mention countless "best friends". I think everyone in the LGBT community has experienced something like that, sadly. I really hope one day your family is more accepting.