Hi! I'm pretty new to the LGBT+ community and a closet bisexual, so I thought a site like this would suit me well. I'm currently a college student living in the upper part of New York near Canada (hence the name). Although I do live in one of the more bluer states, my parents are staunchly against gay-anything pretty much; which keeps me in the closet from them. All my life, I've gone to a religious high school and until recently, I wasn't able to come out to anyone that I knew. I've known about my sexuality for about half a decade. I haven't been with anyone my entire life, and this is because I think I'm aromantic when it comes to women. I realize this now looking back at the times I've turned down dates requested by my female peers. Sexual attraction doesn't necessarily pair with romantic interest. And trust me, it's pretty much impossible to be in a same-sex relationship in a Christian high school. So how do I know my sexuality if i haven't been with anyone? (which is a question I've seen tossed around towards people like me) Because pornography exists. lol. And don't get me wrong, I'm not anti-social and I have a few friends, it's just that I have issues finding a partner. So conclude on that. Thank you for reading my post! (*hug*)
Hello Almost Canadian! Welcome to EC! Porn isn't a good indicator of sexuality. However, who you fantasize about when masturbating is a much better indicator. You may want to check out the discussion of bisexuality in this YouTube video: How to Tell if You're Bisexual - Is Bisexuality a Choice?
Hi and welcome to EC I'm also pretty new to the LGBT-community, but proud to be in it (hence my "status" )
Thanks! I actually know that particular YouTuber and have watched several of his videos in the past. Examining myself I can see that all the times I have felt a sexual attraction towards another person in real life it's been towards both sexes. Though I've only found men to be attractive in terms of personality, but I don't know for sure. I don't usually find myself looking at someone irl then later on pleasuring myself to simple thought of that individual.
Hey Almost Canadian, A lot of us find that we need to get to know some and establish and emotional tie before we can realize a sexual attraction to them. There is an unofficial term called demisexuality that describes this trait. Maybe you'd like to check this website out: What is Demisexuality?
"Demisexuals are considered part of the asexual community because for the most part, they don’t feel sexual attraction." Knowing myself, I would have no problem being intimate with any partner that I hooked up with. If I ever were in a relationship, I think I'd be a relatively sexual person; almost completely open to any sort of kinks my partner may have. So if this quote off the article you sent me to is correct, I don't necessarily think demisexual is a word that describes my sexuality. Let me just share something with you for a moment. My brother doesn't know this, but I've caught word from people who know him anonymously over social media that he identifies as bisexual as well. If this is true, than genetically it would make sense if I was bi as well. And I knew about my sexuality before I learned this information, so there's no bias here.
Hey Almost Canadian, No problem. That's cool. I wasn't trying to send you a link to define you, but rather to consider if some of that applies to your situation/sexuality. I have a friend here on EC who identifies as bisexual and demisexual, so I wouldn't take to heart the idea on the website that demisexuality is tied to asexuality. Bisexuality covers a wide range and you'll find that many Bisexuals here on EC experience their bisexuality differently in some aspects than others.
That's completely fine, and thanks for trying to help. I understand sexuality can be complex, I just don't usually go into the specifics. Btw, I didn't know what demisexual was until you brought it up, so thanks for the info! It always is good to be educated on these things.
