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Hi :)

Discussion in 'The Welcome Lounge' started by Astrocyte, Nov 17, 2016.

  1. Astrocyte

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    Hi everyone. :slight_smile: I've lurked around the forums from time to time and decided it's worth signing up for an account.

    I came out to my immediate family a little over 12 months ago, which was the hardest thing in my life but at the same time it was also necessary. I guess I started to feel the weight of expectation, and if I did nothing I was going to remain restricted. I know a lot of people tend to come out to supportive friends first: probably because our generation is more understanding and supportive of LGBT+ issues, and additionally you have some more control over that relationship depending on how things are going. However, I knew that my family would've been very upset if they weren't the first to know and it probably would have made things worse - i.e. I could have been accused of lying or being deceptive. Additionally, I wanted to make sure I could work through the matter with my family first and get it over with so that I had a really strong support network behind me no matter what happened after that. My family is not very religious but they do lean on the conservative side, so I wasn't sure how it was going to go, and I'm still financially dependent on them so it was a little bit of a risk. In the end I more or less got what I expected: I wasn't attacked or kicked out of home, but it wasn't the happiest moment either. It took about eight months for them to really come around, and in that time I had to put up with stuff that people probably shouldn't have to put up with. However, after that time, something just happened to click, and things almost immediately got better. Additionally, my family really respects me for having them in my considerations so much, and are apologetic for the hard time they initially gave me. Despite it being a stressful year, I'm in a really good place now.

    So why have I decided to sign up now? This whole journey I've really gone it alone - the only thing I've had with me is the internet, and I've only used it to read some positive coming out stories every now and then. Sometimes it's been hard, but most of the time I've been happy to follow my own path in life and just be me. However, I think it's time I start connecting with other LGBT+ members of the community, although I think I lack some confidence. It'll probably make things easier for me anyway. Additionally, I intend to come out to my close friends some time early next year - I was in a situation this year where my friendship group was going to be split up due to study, so I wanted to make sure I found out who was staying with me and tell them first.

    I hope that I'll be able to share more of my story with you some time in the near future. It would be amazing if it managed to help someone out there. :slight_smile: I also look forward to getting to know you all, and perhaps calling upon you for guidance from time to time when I need it. Thanks! :grin:
     
  2. killswitch0029

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    Welcome to EC :slight_smile:
     
  3. Quantumreality

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    Hello Astrocyte! Welcome to EC!:slight_smile: Thank you for sharing your story!:thumbsup:
     
  4. PatrickUK

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    Welcome to EC Astrocyte, it's good to have you on board and great to read your story.

    When parents finally understand that we don't come out to hurt them or separate ourselves from them, but to enhance our relationship with them, they come on board. It sometimes takes time for that recognition to seep in, but it's good when it happens.

    Like most journey's, the coming out journey is best shared. It can be quite lonely to go it alone, so I hope you will come here more often and be part of the community.
     
  5. AnAtypicalGuy

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    Welcome to EC, glad to see things are looking up for you now.
     
  6. Astrocyte

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    Thanks for the welcome. :slight_smile:

    I found my family's prejudices were borne out of sheer ignorance. Growing up in a traditional family of European background, the whole concept of homosexuality (and beyond) was simply too foreign. No one we knew was openly gay. Otherwise, all they knew about it was from the stories on the news where they'd deliberately show the feminine men with rainbows at the pride march or something. To them, it was too removed to comprehend. Hence, I had to endure some pretty uncomfortable conversations while they asked me if this was a 'choice', or when I 'turned' gay etc. Over time though, things have gotten better - they're in full acceptance of me now, which is great, but I'm still working on them to make sure they understand more about LGBT+ issues.

    Yeah, I don't really have a problem with loneliness. I've never been afraid to be my own person otherwise, and I feel like this is no different. In many respects, the story is so different for different people. Ultimately though, it does feel nice to be understood. :slight_smile:
     
  7. PinkCarnation41

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    Welcome Astrocyte.