Hi my name is derek. i need somebody to talk to about my sexuality and my sexual identity. evething started when i was a little boy. i remember walking through the woods with my friends and like most guys when we hhad to pee we would just go. there was a few times one of my friends would stand next to me aand i would always end up staring at his penis. that's when my fantasies started. When i rreached my early teens i started wearing mmy sisters clothing. i started to really enjoy wearing skirts and dresses. i still love wearing women's clothes to this day. the only problem is I'm scared to death to wear girl clothes in public. iv passed myself off as a streight man my whole life but the fact of the matter is I'm not that attracted to women and I'm very attracteed to men. I'm starting to get more and more comfortable with the faact that I'm gay but i still haven't come out of the closet becausee I'm scared of that too. what do i do?i think ill be able tto solve my gender issues a lot easier after i come out as gay. The worst thing is is iv neved had sex with a guy BUT i do have sex toys that i do really enjoy. could somebody please give me some advise. i don't want to live my life as a streight man. i see myself a a pretty girl with a boyfriend. iv had a lot of drug problems in the past that almost killed me because i don't know how to deal with this. i had two open heart surgeries because of injecting drugs. I'm clean now and luckily never caught any diseases but i know now that i can't live my life liike this and if i want to be happy i need to find gay men .somebody please help me.
It sounds like you have a lot going on with both sexual and gender identities. I guess the question I have for you is... Do you feel like a girl/woman trapped in a boy/man's body? If you do there is a good chance you might identify with being transgender. If you just like dressing up in female clothing and don't see yourself as a woman, then you may just like crossdressing. Both of which is fine. For me, sexual identity is not a problem unless I started dating someone and wanted to bring them home. Because at that point I would need to tell my parents. It is about accepting yourself first and being confident in being attracted to men, and any other identities you have.
Hello Derek! Like StormyVale said, first thing you need to do is determine if you're just a gay guy who likes to cross dress, or if you're transgender. Which is something only you can determine. You've taken a good first step in coming here, I'll be willing to do my best to answer any questions you may have, and many others here will also be willing to extend that same courtesy.
