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Good evening! I'm new here,

Discussion in 'The Welcome Lounge' started by Snap, Dec 28, 2016.

  1. Snap

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    good evening all, i'm new here.
    Im Misty, my nickname is snap, because im 98% deaf and misty is silent to me, i cannot hear when people call me, unless they say "snap", I can hear them then.
    Im 44 yrs old, a female, lesbian, very friendly & caring.
    I have problems accepting that I'm lesbian because I am a christian and so it makes me question myself, I don't want to lose my salvation.
    I have just never felt comfortable around men and have always found women attractive. I have been in several lesbian relationships and one forced (by me to see) me and a male for one year. He was very abusive and I got out. I was never comfortable or attracted at all in this relationship, but I felt I needed to try once to see. I failed, or succeeded if you want to think that, because I did succeed in finding out if I could want to be with a man. I don't. So now Im stuck, to me its either being single for life or being a lesbian, my true self. Is there anyone else out there that this makes sense? Can I truly be myself and still keep my salvation?
    Thank you so much for reading my post and it is so nice to meet all of you.
    I hope you have a most awesome night/day/evening
    take care,
    misty aka snap
     
  2. Elysian

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    Hi Snap, welcome to EC! There's a great community here. Issues with faith and one's self is something that I've struggled with and continue to do so but there seems to be a growing number of members who have the same issue as us. I hope you find everything you're looking for here. Feel free to message me if you need anything.
     
  3. Quantumreality

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    Hello Snap! Welcome to EC!:slight_smile:
     
  4. killswitch0029

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    Welcome to EC :slight_smile:
     
  5. jadey95

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    Welcome to EC :slight_smile: I also have struggled with faith and sexuality. There seems to be many that do struggle with this.
     
  6. SiKiHe

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    Well howdy Snap. I can relate to faith and identity troubles. I think many people can. I hope in the end you find a happier you from it all.
     
  7. bunnydee

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    Hi Snap and :welcome:

    I am 45 and was brought up strict southern baptist with a parent who is hateful towards non-straight and narrow people. I have known I was lesbian since about age 12. My true friends was a trans and other lesbians/gays, but the friends I brought home were the christian girls from school. So I have been in the closet my entire life and have struggled over this issue. Married a man young, divorced after I came out to him, married to another man now. I think I have finally come to peace and understanding for me with acceptance of who I am.

    I accept who I am and know as a christian we are made in his image. So my thoughts are simply we are who we are and God has already accepted us - he made us and forgave our sins before we were born through Christ. My mom is the most bible versed person I know and will quote from it often. She will have debates with preachers and win. God is both judgement and kindness. But even she says at judgement when we stand before God, we will be judged by our own hearts.

    I live my life with a kind heart and a helping soul. What better christian is there than someone who lives kindly? If I have to be a hate monger then I wouldn't want to be christian. For me God is loving and kind and I can only live my life the way I believe is right. He has been there for me when no one else has been. I live my life as I believe in my heart he would want me to be - full of kindness and acceptance.

    My mom believes different and her heart leads her the way she is. She is judgement and believes she is supposed to tell others what is wrong and why. It has taken me many years to get past her in my head. I can accept her for her as she is because God is both judgement and kindness. She is also made from his image. So if we both are judged by our hearts - she is doing what her heart says is right and so am I.

    So I guess my question is what do you believe? How do you think you should live? If you live your life the way you believe is right, then at judgement you would have a clean heart without regret. That is the best any of us can do. Also there are plenty of christian churches that fully accept LGBT. So I think we will be fine. I know when I finally come out, I will still be me and I will still live my life the way I do now. So that one piece of who I am with sexually attracted to has no weight on who I am as a person.

    Sorry so long-winded. Welcome to the forum.
     
  8. Aeon Magus

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    Hello, Snap, and welcome to EC. ^_^
     
  9. tgboymom

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    (*hug*)
     
  10. Snap

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    Thank you all so very much for your warm welcome & posts. I'm def. thinking that I'm going to like being a part of this forum. Thank you. & on one of the posts, about being a southern baptist, yes! I too was southern baptist from age 8 to age 26 (18 years), I was never & still am not strict like they are though, Im 98% deaf, so I never really heard about what they stand for, I just only went for the sunday school lessons and church.
    Thank you all so much, again for your thoughts and posts and warm welcome.