I'm glad to find this place and have some folks to talk to. I've always thought of myself as straight and I've been married for almost 20 years. When my husband and I first got together, our sex life was great. Over the years, it's tapered off to non-existent. For his part, I think he has some medical issues, which he refuses to get checked out. On my part, I sort of put it down to menopause. Lately, though, I've begun noticing my reactions to some things have been different. Maybe a stupid way to notice something, but I was playing a text-based video game, playing a female character. My character kissed another female character and to my surprise, it got me kind of hot and bothered. I tend to be very much in my head, generally, I work with computers and I read a lot, etc., but this got me paying attention to things in a different way. And there's this woman I met at work. We don't get to talk much as she is in another office but that's probably a good thing. She makes me a little high-school-giddy. I definitely have a crush. So all of that lead me to checking out some lesbian porn and I discovered that I am not dead between the legs. Whoohoo! I love my husband and, other than no sex, have a pretty good relationship. I don't want to leave him. As for the woman at work - half my age, having a relationship at work is a real no-no, and I have no idea of her sexuality. I don't want to start the dating rounds, I never much wanted to do that when I was single. I'm sort of alternating between being extremely happy about discovering this part of me and depressed because I have no idea how to express this yet. BTW, I did mention my feelings now including girls to my best friend (who lives out of state, we got together recently) and she was supportive. The conversation was brief though, so I didn't get a chance to say much. Well, that's probably the longest intro I've ever done on a forum. Ack! Thanks for letting me babble.
I am not a doctor or anything... Having had no feelings previously towards women, my guess would be hormone issue from menopause or other reasons. When they start getting out of whack lots of things can change. That with the media portrayal of women being sexual objects increases desire towards their bodies even in straight people. And on top of both, you have been sexually deprived for some time by your spouse. I would see if both you and your husband can go through a physical for hormone issues first. If neither have a medical reason for lower/lack of sex drive, then real talk time between the two of you to determine what you can do to start being active in that area again.
I thought my original message was long enough, so didn't get into that, looking back, I see some things in a different perspective, that maybe I've had feelings before on sort of a low level and ignored them or labelled them differently. As for being influenced by the media portrayal of women...no, really, For my husband, believe me, I've tried to get him to get a check up for several reasons. No luck and I don't see that changing. For me, the difference now is that I am interested in sex, just not with men. I will talk to my husband and some point, but I need to get my own head sorted out some more before I do that.
