I've been questioning my sexuality for a long time but I've always managed to find reasons not to explore it (is there a better way to put that?). When I was younger I was very shy and I've always lacked confidence and self esteem. I've grown out of the shyness but unfortunately other things have happened which has made it more difficult to meet people in general. Sadly, in my early twenties I was diagnosed with a chronic illness which affects my mobility. This also took me a long time to come to terms with, so not the best time to meet people, although in a weird way it may actually have helped. In my mind I can't/won't ever be happy until I know who I am. I am just super curious, am I gay or am I something else? Also, why has it taken me so long to find this place? I have been to other sites for women only but they can be oh so cliquey. From what I've seen so far this place seems far, far friendlier.
Hey there tickabox. Welcome to EC. I know what it's like to want to know who you are. This is a safe and supportive environment. I'm sorry to learn of your mobility issues. What in particular is making you question your sexuality? And yes the people here are super friendly
I'm not the greatest at putting into words what goes on in my head, at times it's nigh on impossible but I'll do my best. I guess it's because I have had boyfriends but even at that same time I was always wondering what it would be like to be with a woman. At the time I thought maybe I was bi because I was with guys but since then, well I'm not so sure. I've never even kissed another woman so for me until I do, I don't want to say I'm one thing because I might end up being wrong.
There's nothing wrong with being unsure. I've only just realised who and what I truly am (earlier this month) and found this site just over a week ago. Have you ever been attracted to a woman? And are you sexually attracted to guys? Are there any gay clubs near you that you can go to? Sorry for all the questions I know it's not always easy explaining what you are going through, however kudos must be given for the use of the word nigh.
Questions are good, especially when they make you think about things in a different way. There have been women that I've been attracted to, not too much I can really add there since nothings ever come of it. As for being attracted to guys the short answer is no and I honestly don't think I ever have been. At the time I think I had those relationships mainly because I was getting attention (more to that but it's also off topic) and my brain was a bit muddled about maybe what I really wanted. I did go to a group thing that was to introduce people to the scene etc. Downside was it was a little weird, they wanted it to be all about teaching safe sex which no one else really wanted to talk about, and one of the people running the group took offence to my sense of humour. I have very dry sarcasm and can say things I mean in jest very matter of fact. So I never went back. I need to get some confidence back before doing something similar. I'd probably prefer meeting people away from the scene first.
