Hey everyone. Im a 36 yr old mother or 3 kids. Im seperated from my 2nd husband and we are going through a divorce. When i met my husband 8 years ago i expressed to him that i was a bisexual. Although i had never had a real relationship with women i had been with a few. While married he invited a mutual friend (a woman) into our bedroom. Over the course of the last 2 1/2 years my relationship with her became more romantic than i anticipated and i fell in love with her. He began cheating and and tried to get me to swing as well to get my mind off of her as he could tell i cared about her. And all it did was push me further away from him. I filed for divorce and moved into my own house with my three kids a few months ago. My kids adore her and she does spend a lot of time with them. Im trying to balance it all and maintain a relationship with my him also for our children. Its very different for me because very few people knew that i was bisexual. I work in a school and i am a mother and im very quiet about my personal life. I am worried that my decision to be with her will confuse my smaller children (4 and 6) Any advice for me would be great. Thank you.
Hello Cocoluv80! Welcome to EC! I'm not sure exactly what advice I can provide, but I do know that in same-sex relationships in which one of the partner's is a parent as part of a previous opposite-sex marriage, the younger the children, the easier it usually is for them to adapt. I'd bet that the 4 and 6 year olds won't have any real problem picking up with the new normal, especially if they are in a loving home - and you said that your new partner is really great with the kids, so that should make things pretty smooth from that standpoint. How old is your oldest child? If you are truly happy with your new partner, then perhaps, just be open about your relationship around your friends, family, and co-workers. Maybe the easiest way to Come Out is to not really Come Out formally, rather 'assume' that everyone already knows that you are bisexual, so seeing you with a same-sex partner. You could (if you don't already) take her to social events with you and introduce her as your partner or your girlfriend or whatever works for you - instead of just vaguely as your 'friend'. Do things like that would leave any 'discomfort' on other people, especially if you just act as if this is completely normal for you and can't be held responsible for the fact that they might not already have 'known' about your sexuality. For some reason, your situation reminds me a little bit of the TV series "The Fosters." I don't know if you are familiar with it or not.
