Hi everyone! I just came out as bisexual on Facebook and I am SO scared!! I thought I was gay when I discovered it (like a ton of bricks) years ago. I told my husband and later on a few trusted people, then I let it go for a long while. I have realized recently that I am not gay - I am still attracted to men (although I am leaning on being more attracted to women than men). I turned 50 very recently, and lost 100 pounds over the last eight months or so. So, I don't know if either of those factors come into play, but I just came out today (on Facebook). I may lose a few friends, I guess, but that is their choice. I am hoping to get some support though. I am here for support and encouragement, because right now I am nervous and scared. Thanks!
Hi Patty, First of all, congratulations on two very impressive accomplishments! I came out as bi on Facebook as well. I was super shy at the time, so I didn't think I could tell anyone, besides close friends, face-to-face. I got a lot of support and also lost a few not so close friends. With support, coming out is an incredibly exciting and liberating experience! I hope all your loved ones will shower you with love and support. And if some don't, well, know that you're awesome and we'll all be here to support you
Congratulations, Patty! It takes a lot of courage to Come Out like that! I hope that you get a ton of support from your friends and family.
Hi Patty. I'm Cam. Welcome to EC. Congratulations on coming out so publicly and losing weight. The people here are friendly and supportive and it's a great place to talk to people from the whole rainbow spectrum.
Thanks so much everyone! I got very little response from Facebook...you know where your "family and friends" are. So, I deactivated my page for a week. Just need to cool off. I regret posting it, but I have no friends to talk to. That was so hard to do....guess I better get ready for the "not so fun" part of being out, huh?
I'd say that you should just keep your page active. Let people have time to read and respond to your Coming Out. In some ways, no response is just fine. If they don't unfriend you, then it probably doesn't make the slightest difference to them in terms of their relationship with you.
I agree. I'm not saying this is the case, but Facebooks algorithms seem to favour posts that get a lot of attention, making them appear on people's newsfeed more prominently. Give it some time, and maybe even share it 'for people who've missed it' to show you're serious. Sadly some people still seem to think that coming out as bisexual isn't really coming out. Someone once even called it "Coming out of the kitchen cabinet". Ugh
I'm not really sure what "coming out of the kitchen cabinet" is supposed to mean, but I totally agree that there is MUCH more biphobia out there than homophobia these days... Many times, we just have to stand our ground in order to be heard and recognized. I still have a close family member who "understands" about what I have explained to her (at length) about how bisexuality works for me and her main theme to me is still "well, WHEN you find the right woman..." Thus taking me at face value that when I say that I'm in a relationship with someone (the 'right person') that I can and intend to be monogamous, but not listening when I say that the 'right person' could be either male or female. It's not something that can be determined by myself (or anyone else) in advance.
What they meant by that was that coming out as bi is much easier than coming out as gay, and so it's more like coming out of a kitchen cabinet (small) than like coming out of the closet (big). I didn't realise it at the time, but that was a horrible thing to say, right after I came out as well. But yeah, we're still fighting for recognition. That struggle is easily ignored by the general public, as we allegedly have it easier than gays, because we're only 'half gay' and can 'choose' to be straight. :dry:
Yeah, or if you talk to some of my Gay (male) friends, Bi guys just haven't yet figured out that they are really Gay - or at least they are unwilling to admit it. Why do we get biphobia from some people on all sides in the sexuality spectrum? I'm not particularly complaining, just stating facts and asking questions...
Heyo welcome and congratulations on two awesome accomplishments! I also hope you get a lot of support! ^^
conratuloations !! ---------- Post added 3rd May 2017 at 07:33 AM ---------- Hi there , how are yo today. I am andrea and it is good to meet you.
Hi and thanks everyone! "Coming out of the cabinet"...that's a good one. It's just as hard to come out as bi as it is gay, trans, etc. Well, it was a huge deal for me. I kind of realize that I'm in this alone (except for EC). I live a sad, poor life, so I don't really see me getting a girlfriend. My husband (63), who just had hip surgery and is recovering in rehab, is not doing well. He can't really walk and is a fall risk, so besides getting groceries I am stuck staying home and caring for him. If things get even worse, he could find housing and I'd be homeless. He deteriorated so rapidly and it's all I can think about right now. No one would help us. Very scary.
Hi Patty :smilewave I'm so proud of you to come out. Great courage! EC is the best place to be. You'll find a bunch of great people here (*hug*) Welcome!
