Hi people. This is the first time I have ever admitted to anyone (but myself) that I am gay, even online. I'm quite a bit older than most of you, but I have to say, after reading for hours and hours here in the last few days, i'm astonished at the maturity and great advice from everyone here. I'm 36 now and basically known I was gay since hitting my teens. I've had three girls I have had very short relationships with and apart from that, have been pretty much single my entire life. I can relate to just about every story on here, the crushes with straight friends, the hating and wondering why I had to be gay, and being terrified that people would find out that I was gay. I've had friends ask, parents suggest and I am sure that some I work with, and a lot of my old friends know I like guys. I'm just so horribly scared to actually admit it to them. (i'm not ugly, and they have seen me brush off so many relationships with girls its not funny..) Like I said earlier, I've known for ages that I liked guys, and it doesn't really bother me about *me* liking them, it just terrifies me about what others think.. sigh, the usual story. Anyway, i'm still not really ready to come out, but its starting to play on my mind. Heh, even last night after reading about 25 pages of the coming out section, I was entertaining saying it to one of my few good old friends. Unfortunately, I don't even know any gay people, and I don't have any friends here at the moment (I didn't grow up here, and apart from work, I haven't really socialised much since I got here) Thats probably mostly due to the usual fear of going out and getting picked up by girls which is very awkward, and I seem to be getting shyer as time goes on. Such a terrible affliction when it even makes you lack human contact because of fear of being caught out. (not that I don't mind my own company, but does get a bit lonely after a while) The usal awkwardness plagues me when grils do take an interest, or workmates try and set me up with their girlfriends friends. Anyway, not really asking for advice as such, I gues this is a bit of a cathartic experience for me. First time ever to admit to anyone in the whole world, even if it is only in an anonymous forum.
Well welcome to EC we are glad that you have joined. Its fantastic that you have come here and admitted that you are gay, dont worry about being older its never too late. I hope by being at EC you can become more confident about who you are and when you're ready you will be able to tell those that matter to you but no rush
First thing, welcome to EC Second thing : congratulations for coming out to yourself and for coming out to us That's a first step. No matter how old you are, coming out is something you have to do in your own time. I'm sure you'll find among our "older" members people you'd be able to relate to. I hope EC will be able to provide you the help and moral support you need. Make yourself at home. Take care, Eleanor
Welcome aboard man! It's great to hear that you finally got the courage to join us here at EC! Can I forward you to one of our members and suggest you talk to..Jim1454. He just came out to his KIDS for the first time so perhaps he can help out wiht adult coming out. However seeing as you went through the coming out forum already you should be aquainted to his name. I just suggest you seek help from him because he really is a great guy. Always know that now you have joined you've become part of a great family and if you EVER need help or are to embarrased to talk of something never be afraid to post it here on EC because we're pretty much the most accepting corner of this world. ...*cough* Hyperbole *cough* Always great to be abe to greet new members! Welcome! -Phil
Thanks Eleanor and Inarut. I'm feeling a bit teary after the replies, cheers. Its a bit odd being as old as me here too, but I found this place after googling coming out stories, and after about 15 pages of google replies, I found this site. As I said earlier, i'm pretty amazed at how great the people here seem to be. I'm also a little scared how after just a couple of days its made me want to reach out and i'm thinking of coming out. Quite emotional and scared atm.
Welcome to EC Your never too old to decide to come out. I also knew at a young age that I was gay, but I was too terrified to come out back then. I even went so far as getting married ........ to a woman :eek: .....for a while to hide my true self from my friends. Just recently I had a friend who's in his 40's come out to me, he was afraid I wouldn't want to be friends with him any longer once I found out "HE" was gay (imagine his shock when I gave him a hug, a kiss on his cheek, and said "No problems here .... so am I") :lol: There is no set "timetable" for coming out, but for me, once I was able to accept "me" for who I am, I got comfortable with the fact that I am indeed gay, and I'm much happier now. (!)
Hey and welcome to our family, it's great to have you on board With some TLC, that seed of coming out will bloom out of your mouth. It's apparent to me, that it feels so amazing, and I just hope that we can help you there As you and others have so rightly said, you're on the road and you've taken your first step. Enjoy yourself and see you around! Rosina
Welcome to EC :smilewave. Your post reminded me of how I was a year ago. When I joined I was 39, single and scared to death of being gay. You took a big step in saying you are gay on EC. It was here that I first let anyone know that I am gay. Be proud of yourself. The best piece of advice that I have gotten is that coming out is not a race. Come out at your own pace, no one elses. Take your time, hang out here read some of the coming out stories. It does get easier and better. In the year since I joined, I came out to my immediate family some friends and I have a great boy friend. If you want to chat post something to my wall.
Hi there! Welcome to EC! I'm glad you're here, it really is never too late to be honest with yourself, and it is really great to see that you have taken that step! Coming out to yourself is the hardest part!
Hi there and welcome to EC!!! As my signature says, "It's never too late to be what you might have been." I was in my 30s when I finally clued in to the fact that I was gay. I had a wonderful wife, two beautiful children, a house in the 'burbs, a golden retriever, even a Volvo station wagon. I was leading the 'perfect' life - and I was miserable. I was depressed, in the grips of an addiction (as a result) and couldn't see a way out. But here I am. Happier than I've ever been in my life. Yes - I was a little bitter about perhaps missing out on things earlier in life, but what's in the past is in the past. I can't change it even if I want to. But the farther I get from my 'turning point' the more I come to appreciate my past and the things I have learned from it. So just hang out here for a while. Keep reading the stories, and start sharing your own. If you were contemplating coming out to a friend, then you're likely getting close to doing just that. Yes - it's scary. But the horrible outcomes usually only happen in our heads. We agonize over the 'worst case scenario' when in reality the outcome is usually much, much better. I'm a moderator here, so if you wanted to talk one on one with someone that is older and can perhaps relate to where you are - feel free to send me a private message. Welcome to EC! It did me a world of good when I joined. I'm sure you'll benefit as well.
