Shaking

Wow, I'm nervous. I've been reading the forums for a few days now, and it just seems like a good place. I'm completely closeted. I'm not sure about coming out, but I want to, or I wouldn't be here. I have one friend, who I'm almost 100% sure will be fine with it, and she's all I really need, but others would be great. Once when talking to her (she's obsessed with Gerard Butler), she just said, "I never wanted any friends that are girls, I just want a gay friend." I almost started blabbing right then. I've been friends with her since I was 9. I spend almost every weekend at her house, and I may even move in with her family soon. I know them all very well, and I'm sure they'd be fine with me. She also made jokes in emails like "I don't care if you're: Irish, stupid, deaf, homosexual, blind, or whatever, just get over here." I guess I'm just finally ready to do this...maybe. It's nice to know there's a place like this. Everyone seems so helpful. Hope to make some friends here. I can't believe I'm doing this. I feel better about it. :eek:

 

Wow! Thanks everybody for your comments. I think she may already know also, but there's always that fear, you know? I just got back from spending the weekend with her. We were watching something on the National Geographic channel, and it was all about marriages. Anyway, gay marriage came on, and it showed a gay UK couple trying to get married. It had some woman come on and express her opinions on it (not good ones, mind you.), and then it talked about some political views of it. In the middle she just says something like "I hate politicians and people like that. They're all so stupid." I so wanted to just up and tell her then. An hour later, Monster came on IFC, so we watched it. She said it was so sad because they loved each other, so I think she is completely and totally fine with it. Now I just have to work up the balls to tell her. I don't really think anything bad will happen, but there's always the fear (sorry I'm repetitive.) Just a quick question, but isn't Oct. 11th National Coming Out day? Maybe I can do it by then. As for my family, they don't know, and I'm not sure how they would take it. A few days ago my mom told me to come hear a joke that my stepfather heard. It went something like this:
"Come hear this joke."
"...ok. What is it?"
"Why was there no dinner scene in brokeback mountain?"
".....*shrugs*"
"Because the weinies tasted like shit."
"...meh..."

So, I don't know about her. I don't care what my stepfather thinks, so that takes care of him. I have heard my brother say that he knows being gay isn't a choice, but he also calls everything gay. My older and little sisters might be surprised, but I think they'll be fine with it. I have no idea how my dad would take it, and I only see him during the summer and christmas (parents are divorced.) I don't know what my grandma's initial reaction would be, but since she talked about a gay cousin or someone she knew and had met and said they were nice, I think she'd be okay as well. I just don't know, and I sometimes let fear get the better of me, but this is something you have to do, and I think I would have a better senior year if I did. Woah, sorry about the long post, just needed to get this out. Thanks again you guys are great. Tomorrow I think I'll put my email or yahoo IM address up.

 

Thanks again everybody. Hi, Becky! I was hoping to get a reply from you. You are an amazing person. I think I am ready to do it, but I'm looking for the right scenario, when I know it will be just me and her for a while, so it can sink in, I guess. Grrr. My stomach hurts and I shake whenever I think about it. Well, at least for now, you guys know. Even though you don't know who I am, I feel it was a big step. Thanks everybody.

 

Oh, I also don't want to keep posting in the introduction category, but is it okay to post in the coming out section, if I haven't done it, yet? Thanks

 

Woo! The more I keep posting, the better I feel. I've decided to put my picture in the profile, because if anyone finds out through here, I really don't care. Plus, all you guys can see who's talking