Two Years

October 10, 2007. It seems like a lifetime ago, but that was the day I first signed up for EC. I was so terrified. It was really the first step I took to admitting to myself the feelings I had known I had for years. I didn't post at first, and I only stayed for a couple of days. It was too scary, too overwhelming.

A month or two later I came back and started posting every so often, and always reading the new coming out stories to help me gain confidence. At some point in mid-December, I updated my orientation from 'not sure' to 'bi'. It was a big step, but I knew deep down it wasn't true. A couple weeks later, on January 4th, I finally accepted that I was gay and couldn't change it. It was such a relief to finally feel like I was being truthful to myself. But at the same time, I started putting pressure on myself to come out.

Reading the stories and talking with people here on EC helped me, but I was terrified of the idea. If it weren't for my mom getting upset and telling me that she felt I was hiding something from her, who knows how long it would have taken for me to say anything. But I told my parents on January 13th, barely a week after coming out to myself, and they were amazing. I couldn't have asked for a better response or better parents.

Since then, I've come out on Facebook, and haven't had a single bad reaction. I feel very lucky to be where I am, and everybody here at EC deserves part of the credit for that(*hug*). I feel like a totally different person than the scared, nervous, closeted 16 year-old that first signed up here.

And tonight, I am going to be taking another big step for myself. The University and the LGBTAA are holding a dance tonight at the Memorial Union to celebrate National Coming Out Week, and I am planning on going. It should be a lot of fun, and it'll be nice to be somewhere that two guys dancing (or *gasp* kissing) doesn't cause any uproar. And hey, maybe I'll meet someone