Hi everyone, I'm Ian from Toronto. I'm just beginning the journey of coming out and establishing my new identity as a gay man. I've been doing lots of research on the web and came across this site and was impressed with content and honest discussions going on here! My situation is a bit different as I'm recently going through a divorce, realized that I am gay and now have to disclose my true sexuality with everyone that I know. Life is about to get very interesting! lol
Hi Ian and welcome to EC from the Pacific Coast of Canada! You have come to the right place. Congratulations on coming out to yourself and to others. I hope things will go well for you. You might want to drop a PM to Jim, who might be able to offer you some insights. I'm sure he wouldn't mind talking to you. Ah..Toronto! One of my fav places! Welcome aboard and I hope you will find Empty Closets helpful!
Hi there! Welcome to EC. :smilewave Best of luck in your coming out journey, I'm sure you'll find some support and advice from some of the other members on here who've been through similar situations.
Hi Ian, and welcome to EC! Enjoy your time here! There's definitely a few other members here that have gone through the same, soI hope you'll find the support you need to make the next step as easy as possible.
Welcome Ian! As Filip said, you're not as alone as you think. Feel free to post about you questions - you'll get some nice input I bet
Hi Ian! I'm Jim, also in the Toronto area, and was married for 9 years. Towards the end I came to realize that I was gay, which is one of the reasons for our split. We had 2 little girls, a house in the burbs, a golden retriever, even a Volvo station wagon. It appeared to be the perfect heterosexual relationship, which made it really nerve wracking to think about coming out to people as gay. But I eventually did. It took a while - so don't feel rushed. Of course my wife, doctor and therapist were the first to know. I told my parents several months after we separated. I told my friends sooner only because they guessed! I then waited almost another 2 years before telling my kids, and I've since told my extended family, some coworkers, and members of my church. So I'm pretty sure I can relate to where you are and what you're worried about. I'm glad you've found this site, because it sure helped me. And I have stuck around so that I can help others - like yourself. Feel free to start a new thread to talk about what's going on or if you're looking for advice, because a lot of people would benefit from reading about it. However, also feel free to sent me a 'private message' by clicking on my user name and selecting that option. I'd be happy to chat with you in private as well.
Hi Ian and welcome to EC. I was also previously married, with kids, and came out after my marriage ended. I was depressed and did not want to accept that I was gay. I could not imagine that I could actually live a happy life as a gay man. How wrong I was! I found a great therapist, who helped me work through my depression and issues regarding being gay. Coming out seemed an impossible obstacle, particularly because I was older and had always been known as straight. Eventually, I did it. The surprising thing for me was how universally supportive and accepting everyone has been. My family and friends all commented on how hard it must have been to be in the closet for so long, and they were all happy for me. My ex-wife has also been great. Once I came out, I developed a great circle of gay friends and an active social life. I also met and fell in love with a great guy, who I plan to spend the rest of my life with. You will probably go through a fair amount of pain and heartache as you go through this process. A good therapist is essential. Please know, though, that as bad as some moments may seem, it gets really great once you are through it. Life out of the closet is a whole lot easier. Please keep us updated and let us know how we can help.
Thanks for the kind words! I'll be sure and post in the forums when I get a chance, or when questions come up. It's also great to know that there are people on here who have been through the same situation as I am going through.
