Just wanted to drop into the Introductions section and say hello again. I was on this site a couple of months ago, formerly Confusicus, and have returned under a new name SoulProgression. I left because I became convinced that I was obsessed with being gay and that I wasn't actually attracted to the opposite gender. I can't say I've seen the light and know exactly my orientation and where to go from here, but I do know that a part of me finds males attractive. I recently got into a relationship with a beautiful girl, whom I truly felt I was falling for. I can't say I wasn't falling in love with her, or that it was wrong, but I do know that there was still some doubt floating around. We were only together for three weeks, but I felt there was a strong connection between the two of us. Unfortunately, she felt that the time was not right for a relationship, and decided to break it off. Things were golden for the time we were together, but came crashing down when I realized there was something wrong. I was pretty crushed when she told me, I can't say exactly what made her change her mind, but I have realized there is definitely a side of me that is physically and emotionally attracted to women. However, I know that some part of the relationship may have been me trying to prove to myself that things weren't one way, but the other. In the past couple days I've come to terms with the fact that it's a good possibility that I am letting my ego, i.e. what society has told me is right and normal, control my actions. I still do not know how to fully accept my difference, and where to head now, but I understand myself a little better. I just feel the need to come to terms with the part of me that I have tried to suppress for sometime. I may very well be able to love either gender, but I need to focus on the part of me that I'm afraid of, the part that really needs attention and nurturing. I want to thank those of you who have commented on my posts in the past. Although I was and still may be in some stage of denial, those comments have helped me more than you can know, both then and even more so recently. I hope that I can help some members who are struggling with similar difficulties and perhaps we can learn from each other. Much Love and remember to follow your heart and soul, your mind and ego do not control.
Hello and welcome back. My name is Mike and I'm a new advisor here in EC. I can't commend to you strongly enough how important it is for you to "come to terms" - authentically completely and honestly. I did not do this. I lived the suppresion thing for 36 years and am now working through the consequences. You can check out my posts to see the details or feel free to write on my wall or send me a PM. Peace, Mike
Nice to see you returned! And with some more self-knowledge to boot! I'm sure I told you previously, but discovering yourself takes time and can't be rushed. It took me years, but in the end, it was all worth it. Over time, things will become clearer. See you around!
Thanks for the warm welcome everyone, I was never much of a presence here, but it is good to be back. I'm hoping this time around I can help some of the other members more. padre411 and Filip I may be getting in contact with you soon, as there are some questions that still bug me. Maybe someone on here has more experience coming to terms with the fact that they can roll both ways? I'll have to browse through the Welcome Email in my inbox. Thanks again all
