Intros, How I Hate Them

Queerly, I belong here.

^Yeah, that was a play on words. I'm going to stop trying to be funny. I really hate writing intros, so forgive me if this just looks like vomit.

Hello! I'm sure you can see my first name, so I'll just say it, I'm Chandler. Though, just so you know, I hate my name. Call me Kanen - I'll tell you why in a bit.

Um, let's see... I'm fifteen years old - though if this is going to keep be from being allowed into the entire site, I will gladly say I'm sixteen - in the 9th Grade, and live in Texas. I'm gay. Um...

Okay, so, a little about myself? Well, first and foremost, I'm a writer. I love writing things - novels mostly, though I've yet to finish one. I love creating worlds that no one else has been to, people that no one knows about. I'm no stranger to forums, having been on several writing forums (this is where I get the name Kanen, which I love so much). I also love to read - yeah, that kind of goes a long with writing. Duh. Some of my favorite books are A Song of Ice and Fire series by George R.R. Martin and The Wheel of Time series by Robert Jordan.

I love all sorts of music. Katy Perry, GaGa, Carrie Underwood, Skillet, Breaking Benjamin. All types. I'm not kidding.

Some favorite T.V. shows are Grey's Anatomy(I want to be a pediatric surgeon when I'm older), Private Practice, Off the Map, Merlin, GLEE!( Love it), Psych, Doctor Who(LOVE LOVE LOVE) and, the newest discovery, Queer as Folk(USA version).

Breaking the stereotype, I also love sports. I've played football up until this year (I have really bad asthma and it just became too much) and love weight lifting.

I'm also an actor, having been in many a school or community theatre production, and attended many summer theatre camps. The feeling of being up on stage is like nothing else in the world to me.

Back story now, right? Okay. *deep breathe*

Well, I think like a lot of people I've always known I was gay, at least on some level. But it really began to show itself about... three years ago, I think? Yeah, that sounds about right. At the time, I had no idea what to think about myself. I'm from Texas, which could arguably be the most conservative state in the US. I've been told since I was in diapers that being a homo is evil. I've been raised in a deeply spiritual background - which, I would like to point out, was still a good thing on many levels. I am still a deeply devoted Christian. I believe that God loves me for who I am, not what I am. But, back to the story. I was raised in a deeply spiritual background, and told that all homos burn in hell. So, naturally, when I started having these feelings, I fought them. I fought them tooth and nail. For three years I fought who I was inside, making myself miserable, always saying that I was evil for the way I felt. And it was possibly the worst time of my life.

This all led up to about six months ago. I finally just got tired of the constant fighting. I couldn't take it anymore. So, finally, after three years, I surrendered myself to it, to what I was. And you know what? I felt a ton better.

It was like I was free, as if for the first time in my life, I could truly be who I was, without fear of being told I was a bad person. I had come to understand that religion and homosexuality did go hand in hand. Though, at the time I had only told myself that I was bi. It's only been about three weeks since I've accepted that I was gay.

I've told a few people, the first person being another gay guy I knew who's in college. He was one of the most influential people in my life, helping me understand that who I am is okay. The other is my best friend. She took it amazingly, and I love her for it. And, who knew, but she was bi!

I have joined this site because I just feel like I need someone to talk to. Yes, I am out to myself and a few people, but now I have this secret, a secret that seems like if I don't talk about it I'll explode. I need people to talk to, people who understand what I'm going through and can help. People who are going through the same thing. People like you.

Well, I realize I've rambled. I'm sorry. If you read this whole thing, well then *gives cookie*. I hope I can find friends here.

-Kanen

 

Hey, thanks for the welcome! AND YES! FOR LIFE!

 

Yeah, the adrenaline. It's amazing.

And awesome, jennykay12. I love meeting fellow writers.

Oh, and one question. I have a blog on blogspot. Is it okay if I post it in my signature?

Thank you all for the welcomes.

 

Thank you everyone for the welcomes!

And okay, the thing about the blog is good to know. I wanted to make sure though before I did. Good thing I did. Are links allowed in sigs at all, like, say, to link the upcoming of an amazing TV series that I'm EXTREMELY excited about? Sorry, I know, lots of questions, but the rules confused me a bit, and I want to make sure I don't do anything wrong.