My Introduction

The nature of my sexual orientation is not the complicated part, bi or gay, I have an attraction to men, that is what it is. Although, when I ask myself which I believe I am, gay always seems to be the more comfortable answer. The complicated part is that I'm married to a woman, whom I very much love, and am attracted to, but who does not know my complete feelings. We have a 3 year old child and I completely enjoy our family life. She knows that I've been with a man before, it's never been a secret and I have been quite open about it with just about everyone, but I always played it down, and as far as everyone is concerned, I'm straight, although no one would be that shocked if I told them I was into men. Anyway, she is quite an open minded person and would be most likely be supportive of me, I'm quite certain of that. I guess the problem is, do I want to stay in my marriage or not, and if I decide to stay and I'm completely honest with her, which I plan to be and is what she deserves, will she decide to leave me? The dissolving of my marriage is a heartbreaking prospect, but a distinct possibility. With all that said, I'm on this site to further understand myself and what choices I need to make and to find support for myself and to offer it in doing so.

Stew Bum

 

First question: I identify and feel more comfortable with the idea and feeling of being gay.

Second question: I'm not trying to dodge the question, but a scale rating is a little too simplified, but I will say this, I'm sexually attracted to her, and enjoy sex with her, but there is a sense that something is missing, how that translates into a scale I can't say.

Third question: The thing I remember most fondly when I was with the man was waking up with him. We didn't really know each other, we met at a party, but it was a feeling of ease that I have not had again.

Now, all that being said, there is more to this than sex. There are whole other areas of attraction to my wife that I have not had with a man, nor anyone else, and those attractions can't be fulfilled by anyone else. If that makes sense. So again, I can't translate that into a scale for comparison.

 

Welcome to EC!

You are definitely in a tough situation, but I'm glad you decided to join. We actually have quite a decent amount of members that have either been or are in your same situation. Stick around, ask questions and hopefully we can help you figure things out.

 

In the end this decision is about sacrifice, which can be a beautiful thing, but is also an ugly one. Unfortunately, it is also something that the LGBT, as evidenced by this site, is all to accustomed to.