I've been confused for a while, but after a lot of research finally have decided I must fit into the 'genderqueer' category - good old Wikipedia suggests that I might be a 'girlfag', but I'm not even sure if that's considered an appropriate term... I'm biologically female, but really consider myself to be a gay boy... My problem is, how on earth do I go about telling people this? My family and friends are reasonable people, but I think they'd understand sexuality issues more easily; if I could simply say I was lesbian, for example. The whole 'gender identity' thing, but still only being attracted to men, I have NO idea how to explain... and I'm really nervous... Help?!
Hey there, Tor, welcome to EC! I'm pretty new here myself, but it looks like we're in a similar boat. EC is a great place to ask questions and find support. If you ever need to talk feel free to send me a message or post on my wall. With that said, I consider myself to be a gay guy, so I'm finding myself falling under the FtM catagory. Transgender. I'm still a bit rough on the terms, myself, but I guess one of my friends says it best; I'm a gay man trapped in a woman's body. I'm also not an expert on anything, as I really only started to come to terms with this a week ago. I just wanted to let you know you aren't alone and to keep your chin up. As for telling people? Just say what you said here. Let people ask questions. Help them to understand and accept who you are.
Hi Tor! And welcome to EC!!! (*hug*) I can certainly relate to how you feel. I'm biologically male but I have identified myself (yet struggled with it for a really long time until recently) as female. I can also relate to sexual orientation issues you must be going thru as I'm really still coming to terms that I'm also only attracted to other women and basically a lesbian, so I really know how confusing it is for you. I do know that ever since I came out here on EC, everyone has helped me sooo much to be comfortable with who I am and that I am gay and because of that I just came out to my first friend yesterday, who was extremely understanding & supportive for me. I know that it's really hard, but EC, you'll find, will be a good first step to helping you with everything you feel. I know it's definitely given me the courage to come out & I've definitely decided I'm going to fully transition & get GRS so I can become who I really am! Trust me, (*hug*) you will find nothing but support & understanding here & if you ever want to talk, I'm here for you. Kiersten
Welcome to EC! As you may have noticed, there is a transgender community here who will be more than happy to help you during this trying time. Coming out isn't easy, but almost no one regrets doing it. Most people are pleasantly surprised by how open-minded their friends and family are. Does everything turn out perfect? Probably not. Myself, I have just realized that I lost a friend, but my true friends are still with me. Coming out is the first step you should take to making your life happier. Don't do what I did: hold it in for years and become depressed and suicidal. Yeah, that's never good.
first of all, welcome to EC! at the risk of sounding like a cheesy salesperson of some sort, if you want support, you've come to the right place! in all seriousness, EC kicks ass. second, it sounds like you might be transgender and gay- which is perfectly ok and normal. it's good that you're family is open, and i suggest just telling them how you feel, in your own time. sometimes, it takes time to come out- do it in your own time, at your own pace, when you're ready. you should never feel pressured to come out- it's a very personal decision for you and only you. and when you do, just calmly explain in your own words who you really are, and if they have any questions, answer them. i hope that this advice was helpful! if you ever need to talk to anyone, i'm here
Hi and welcome to EC You're indeed in a complicated situation, but hopefully, other members on EC are dealing with the same kind of gender identity, some of them being more advanced and confident in their identity than you are now, they'll be able to help and support you. Here is two links to Pflag booklets you may find helpful : http://www.pflag.org/fileadmin/user_upload/Publications/Be_Yourself.pdf http://community.pflag.org/Document.Doc?id=202 I hope this could help a little. Make yourself at home and see you around Cécile
Hi, everyone; sorry for not saying thank you. I'm pretty miserable right now. I lost control and outed myself during a fight with my mother, and I've been thrown out. The look of disgust on her face killed me. Virtual hugs welcome...
(*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*) I'm so sorry to hear your mother had such a reaction...unfortunately people often react like that when they can't understand something and this must be hard for her to wrap her mind around, and, since you were fighting at the moment in the heat of the moment she probably reacted without thinking. In time, when she's had time to process it it is likely she will come around-you are her child after all and nothing you say can make her hate you. And keep in mind you have full support from the community here...there are many wonderful people willing to offer support and advice. Maybe you could see if you could get some counseling because you will need support in dealing with all this and also if an adult professional talked to your mother about this, she'd probably be willing to listen. It's one thing when parents can pass off something their child says as typical confusion/rebellion and quite another when she talks to a professional. Now it's important that you get as much support as you can until you get the chance to talk to your mother about this again and have a (hopefully) calm and mature conversation with her. and finally *GIANTTACKLEBEARHUG* take care
Welcome! I'm also new to the EC community and have yet to meet many people. Hmmm....if it's alright for me to ask about your situation, is it kind of like liking the opposite gender, but when you yourself feel like the wrong gender in the wrong body? O-o I don't want to be rude, I just want to better understand. ><
I wish I could think of something really comforting to say. I'm not that good with advice yet, but I'm good with virtual hugs. (*hug*)
