Hi everybody, it's my first post here on EC (though I do admit I've been lurking in the forum for a bit:icon_redf) and it's a long one. I recently ended a relationship of 2 years with a girl whom I truly loved. I was devoted to her both physically and emotionally and never had doubts that we were meant to be. Shortly prior to meeting her I was in the process of investigating my attraction towards guys - something I've had for most of my teenage years. Upon meeting her I mostly forgot about this, and any thoughts I did have about being gay were dismissed because I was attracted to her. Now that we are apart, I've realized that she was almost the only girl I've been attracted to my whole life. At points I have felt pressured to get a girlfriend, but have never had interest in doing so. Nor do I have the knee-jerk reactions that my male friends have when they spot girls (turning to look, making comments, etc.). If reading this has left you even a bit confused, then you know how I feel. I'm not sure what to expect now, but for some reason I can't settle on the fact that I am most likely gay. It's like I need a further sign or experience to cement it in my mind. It's all so foreign to me that I'm pretty much clueless as to what I should do. Do I try and look for a guy whose company I enjoy or a hookup? I feel as if the idea of being gay is hovering over my head, but I need something to bridge the gap so I can start to come to terms with it.
Welcome to EC, stay awhile You'll definitely find some people who get it. I hear your story and it reminds me of mine a little bit, actually. But anyway, lovely to have you (*hug*)
Well, I can't refuse holding out a welcome sign to a guy with a username so similar to my own! Welcome to EC! I didn't think you'r story is all that confusing from the outside, though I do remember it was pretty confusing being 18 and unsure myself. Best piece of advice I can give at this point is to hang out, post around, participate in the discussions and pose some questions of your own in the Support and Advice section. I'm sure enlightenment will not be too far away!
I'm new here as well. Your story is a lot like mine, except I discovered it at the beginning of high school. Probably not the best place. lol Welcome. :]