Hello, confused guy here (also newb)

Hello and welcome to the site =) Forgive me if this is brief, but its 4AM here and I'm passing out whether I want to or not lol

I could relate quite a bit to your experiences. I grew up in a strong Catholic environment, in fact I went to Catholic school for 13 years, so I know a thing or two about how that can effect someone. Just like you, I used to stay up and pray, usually begging God to turn me into a girl, but often to confirm that it really is okay that I like men.

I think you are stressing out a little bit too much about the future, which admittedly is something I'm guilty of myself. No one's asking you to get married and settle down with either a guy or a girl tomorrow. You are 19, and you've got time so don't worry about it so much. Go with the flow, and don't be a slave to a label. Words are wind, and things like straight, gay, and bi only have the meaning we as people give to them.

You might have better luck asking about these kinds of questions in Support & Advice.

I'm glad you are here though, it shows a step forward in trying to accept yourself for whoever you may be, and really you already know most of it. Who you wanna go to bed with doesn't necessarily determine a very significant part of who you are.

Well I'm just rambling now, best of luck. I hope you find the answers you are looking for (*hug*)

 

Coming from a Christian household, I can say that I've seriously struggled with religion. But there is one thing I learned that I hope helps you... Religion is not what God says. Religion is what MAN says about what God says. God will always love you.

Welcome to EC! :smilewave

---------- Post added 23rd Dec 2011 at 12:19 AM ----------

I still do seriously struggle with religion too.

 

Hey welcome to EC, you will find lots of people here some who are going through similar things, some who have been through similar things and others who are just awesome, supportive and always know what to say so stick around and im sure you will find some comfort.

 

fuzzburden, thanks for your post, i just joined too and feel the same as you in so many ways. i am attracted to women...and i'm attracted to dudes. porn really has twisted me in the way i look at people. i haven't been down that path in a few weeks, and its been kul. i don't want to use people for my own pleasure, i want to love people.

i hope you can talk with an understanding adult who can give you solid unbiased counsel. i went to a super liberal school and everyone was shoving people out of the closet into some warped concept of who they thought i should be. i don't want to change me because of a community, i want to be the me i was created to be.

anyway, great to read what you wrote, peace and talk soon

 

Hello welcome to empty closets

 

Hello and welcome to EC. Although I would love to provide my views on some of the points that you brought up...but i'm in a bit of a rush at the moment...again. Welcome to EC.

 

Bienvenue!! :smilewave

 

You dont believe in hell?

 

Theoretically, God could still love those ze sends to hell. Just because ze feels someone deserves it doesn't mean it doesn't pain hir to send a person there.

I don't believe in a hell exactly, but I do believe in an afterlife, and I think that the evil likely get hung up or "stuck" due to their own feelings of guilt or shame and in a sense torture themselves.

Of course I do believe the main point of Hana's quote was to say that being gay will not effect the amount of love which God bestows upon a person, which I think if you believe in God is either true, or that god is operating off of nonsensical morals, is therefore not perfect, and as such is not worth worshiping. Or maybe that's just how I see it.

Can you say run-on sentence?

 

If God loves everyone, all the time, then he does send people he loves to hell (or sends them to eternal shame or whatever - its still hell however you spin it). And if he does that, what is his love worth?

 

Same here. Then it occured to me that god didn't exist, so I was fine.

 

Question is, does God send us to hell or does he give us an option of how not to go to hell and gives us an alternative to go someplace better?

 

sounds more like it

 

Hi good luck

 

Hello, Fuzz, and welcome to EC.

 

Hi Fuzz, welcome. :smilewave

Hope you've had a good Christmas. I identified completely with much of what you said in your first post, so do feel free to message me if you want to.

Take care.

Dr. Faustus.

 

Hello to everybody

I am a mid-50's heterosexual white male and if that told the whole story, what would I be doing here? I could go in a lot of directions but first of all, the only way that I can give any meaning to what I have to say (write?) is if I position myself. I have a degree in biology with a mix of a lot of other stuff and then I went back and completed coursework to be a high school teacher, I even taught for a couple of years. My education is not significant other than to establish that I have a basic formal background in subjects that helps me to evaluate the opinions and information generated by "experts" to define the roles of nature (what we are born with) and nurture (what we are exsposed to in our environment) in our behavioral and social "interests".

There is not a fine line drawn between the influences of nature and nurture. I believe we have very little control over the things that arouse us and probably no control over our orientation. I was married to a woman for 18 years and we had two children when she came out of the closet as a lesbian, not as bisexual but a lesbian and of course that takes the steam out of a marriage. That was 15 years ago and for establishment of my perspective.

Nine years later my son came out as being gay, it wasn't really a surprise and I was grateful for his trusting me enough to be honest. I had been wise enough not to be critical of his mother for being a lesbian. My foster brother (who came to live with us when he was 2 years old) came out as gay after two marriages and two children. I had a high school friend who was gay back when that was not acceptable at all.

We live in a sea of grey with little islands of black and white. Orientation is not the only set of issues but the challenge that we all face is to accept the differences of others as we would have them accept our differences. In reality none of us can afford to be too judgmental because we all have things we like to do in private that we do not talk about in public. I have my own perversions and I am proud of the fact that they do not involve children, they do not involve non-consent, they do not involve animals, nor do they involve dead people. If you think about it, that still leaves a lot of room.

The subject of God and guilt comes up often and it application is tragic. If you believe in God and believe that he made us then you have to believe that he considers us perfect for his purpose. My grandfather used to say "God will tell you what is right for you and he is the only one you need to listen to". "be still and know that I am God". "we are fearfully and wonderfully made". If you have questions, ask God and listen.