Wow, not quite sure how to start this, but at 46 married with two kids, let's see. Struggling through figuring all these feelings out and not destroying my family. I have no idea how to go about this and found this forum today. So here I am. I cannot say that I have known that I am bi or gay my entire life, just know that I am definitely attracted the human form and creative sexual expression. Have grown up with so much fear, lacking the ability to tap into the Me of myself without fear or repercussions and abandonment issues that feel greater than life itself. I can only hope now to move forward with this moment of true self-discovery, trusting my own self-worth/confidence to further explore this need to be honest. Both with myself and my family, worrying that everything will collapse if I dare to venture further down this road.
Hey, welcome to EC! You'll find that this is a place that will help you relieve a lot of stress by being surrounded by people who are the same as you. I wish you great luck on your journey to find yourself, and I understand your worry, I'm sure all of us here have been there. So hey, welcome, and I hope that by joining this website and making friends here that you'll feel less stress, and more freedom to be who you really are <3
Hi there, and welcome to Empty Closets! Sometimes, it takes a while for us to figure things out or to realize that we have feelings for and think about different attractions. Although things might seem very difficult and fearful at the moment, there are men who have come out of the closet, and have overcome the obstacles and fears. Many of them have also kept a close relationship to their wife/partner. It has happened that the wife has become an important friend and ally. One of the advisors, Jim1454, might be able to help you and I'm sure would be willing to share his experiences with you. Things have a way of working out. Glad you have joined and started to come to terms with it all. (*hug*)
Hi there and welcome to EC. As Mirko indicated, I was in my mid 30s when I finally couldn't deny this part of me any more. I was married with 2 beautiful little girls - and I was gay. I hadn't know all my life and taken the route that I had anyway. But when it became evident and I couldn't ignore it any longer, I had to deal with it. I had also developed an addiction to help me cope with the internal conflict that I'd been feeling. Things were pretty dark when I finally took steps to turn things around and make them better. That did mean separation and divorce from my wonderful wife. But it didn't destroy her. It didn't ruin her life. It just changed it. And it meant my kids had parents who were divorced. It hasn't ruined them. It meant that I could work on me - get into recovery and get honest with myself. And I'm a far better dad than I would have been had I stayed in my previous state. (The reality is that I'd likely be dead had I not dealt with my addiction.) All to say that while things might get worse before they get better, they certainly can get better. And better than you could ever imagine. I met another man coming from a similar situation as me - and after dating for a couple of years got engaged. And after a 9 month engagement got married last summer. And I'm happier than I've ever been. Honest. So hang out here and explore this part of you. See what others have done, and what others think about what you should do. It's a very helpful and supportive place. You can always reach out to me one on one if you wish - by sending me a personal message. (Just click on my name on the left here and choose 'send message'.) As my signature says, it's never too late to be what you might have been. My boyfriend bought me a plaque that says that shortly after we started dating, and it sits today in our living room. It's true.
Thanks for the welcomes and how dos? Hoping to spend more time on here searching for validity, coming to grips with all of this. Have a wonderful weekend all, John
Jim did reach out after your suggestion. I have not contacted him yet, sounds like he may have some very timely advice for my siutaion. Quite an adventure I have here. Hope you are having a wonderful weekend and all the best, John
Welcome John, You have a great attitude about everything and that is key. Looking at your homosexual self in terms of a channel for creativity and personal growth is wise. Remember that the nature of your personal growth is up to you, the direction you take, is up to you. A great starting point for your journey here would be to read Carl Jung, Modern Man in Search of A Soul and James Baldwins Giovannis Room.
Welcome to the group! You will find ( as I did) this board a great help as you come to accept yourself!!! You will also find a number of us on here who came to the game later in life ( and some with kids + wives) - you are certainly not alone!!
