New here-and with first coming out experience

Hi, everyone. Well, I'm a new guy here. Just found this place online and so glad I did. Hopefully I can talk to someone who may make me feel a little better. I think I'm feeling a bit insecure more than anything right now.

So, I'm gay. Never really spoken it like that. I'm not "out" to people but I don't purposely hide it either. I just usually let them figure it out by the fact that I never mention a girl or when a guy friend says "wow, isn't she hot?" I just say something like "I dunno".

Well, the other day I have a friend--he is very, very (VERY) religious--a christian fundamentalist. Well, we were talking and to keep this short, when he said something about someone choosing to be gay I was like "well, I like guys and I didn't choose it". Now that I look back on it I don't know if I should have said it. I just feel awkward now when I see him. He gave me some speech about how he can love a sinner but not the sin. I told him it wasn't a sin and I thought his religion was stupid (I shouldn't be so judgmental I know) but anyway, the next day he was still polite/decent to me at work (we work together at a store).

Before I came out to him, though, we were planning to take a trip as friends this summer, to the beach for a few days. After I came out I was worried he wouldn't want to be around me anymore. So, I Just asked "So, do you still want to that trip with me?" and he said "yeah". So, I felt OK. But then 1 or 2 days later he texted me and basically said "I'm sorry to say this but I'm not going to be able to go to the beach at that time. This and this and this (blah blah blah) is going on at that time and I can't go. I'm sorry. Do you want to try to find another week to go?"

Now, I'm just overanalyzing the heck outta that text and I don't know if I have valid concerns or I'm just so nervous and scared about having come out to him. Like I keep asking myself, "Does he just not want to go with me now because I'm gay?" and "Does he not want to go with me because he's scared to be around me now?" and "Are we really friends still?" but then part of me thinks "Well, he did say "Do you want to try to find another week to go?", which makes it sound like he isn't trying to avoid me but then I think "well, he just asked if I wanted to try to find another week to go...but then he'll just find something wrong with that time too instead of just telling me that we aren't friends anymore". But, he hasn't said that yet...and so my head is just swirling with thoughts like it's on overdrive and I don't know if my concerns are valid or I'm just super-sensitive right now.

I never responded to his text but I will see him face to face tomorrow and I'm not sure how to handle it. Should I just straight up ask "Hey, are you trying to get out of going because I came out to you?" or should I just do what he said and find another week to go and then see if he cancels that or finds a problem with that time too? I just don't want to jump through hoops if he just doesn't want to be friends anymore and just is afraid to say so directly. But then again, I think back to him writing "Do you want to try to find another week to go?" and I feel hopeful--like he still wants us to go together and be friends. But then I think about how he said "do you want to try to find another week"...why didn't he say something like "hopefully we can find another week" and then I think I'm just way overanalyzing..and I know I am but dang...I feel crazyyyyyyyy now!!!

I apologize--like I said. This is all new to me and I was so afraid of coming out to such a religious friend and now I guess I'm just scared and confused. I don't know if he's trying to distance himself now or if something really came up. Could it be a coincidence that it happened after me coming out or is it the first of many times he will avoid me now? So sad and confused.

Also-I'm new here so sorry if this isn't posted in the right place. Thanks for listening everyone.

 

Update

Hi, Everyone. Thanks for the warm welcome and the advice from a few of you. So, today I saw my friend. It was so awkward at first because we were alone in a room together working but nobody was saying anything. It's like he was waiting for me to say something & I was waiting for him to say something and it was like a big elephant in the room. Finally, I got up the courage to say "Here's a book about the beach we were going to go to-I got it for you before I got your text" and then he was like "oh, thanks. Yeah-about the text. I'm sorry about that" and so I was like "we don't have to go if you don't want to" and he was like "no, no, I do wanna go, I do. We just need to pick a different time". And so I said "well, when I got that text..." and then he interrupted me and was like "I know...I knew you were gonna be mad but it's not what you're thinking". Soo, anyway, after that it's like the stress level in the room plummeted and I felt sooooo much better.

So, I told him we would try to find a different time to go. So, I guess things are okay with us. Hopefully he won't try to change the next time period that I pick for the trip and I'll feel a lot better then. So, maybe I was feeling a little too paranoid after just coming out to him.

It's odd (in a good way), though, that he's interested in going with me. maybe i'm stereotyping now but i wouldn't expect a super-conservative VERY religious guy to say he still wanted to take a trip alone with a gay guy. I'm glad he did. Part of me is starting to wonder if he's as straight as he claims. But that's none of my business. I don't like him that way anyway but today he showed me and another guy that he had a pic of a (male) underwear model saved in his pics on his phone....he said he looked at it before working out as encouragement. I was laughing inside..thinking...yeah, I got pics like that on my phone, too. LOL. (I didn't dare say that out loud though, LOL).

Overall, my point is I'm feeling so much better now. Thank you everyone.