Hello EM Community! I'm a 45-year old straight woman who recently learned my 15-year old son is gay. The qualifier is that I found out by accident and he has not yet come out to me. My immediate mama bear reaction was to talk to him about what I learned and let him know I support him, am proud of him and love him. But some intuition held me back, and my research brought me here, where I got some very good advice from some of you about waiting until he came to me and letting this be his process. So that's what I plan to do. In the meantime, instead of dwelling on "when will he tell me?", I plan to do work necessary to get myself to the best possible place so that when he does come out I can make it about him and not me. My husband and I have appointments set up with our pastor and a counselor. I've also gotten some great book recommendations from people here and plan to start doing some reading. But honestly, the thing I've found most helpful is spending time on these boards and learning from all of you. Your honesty, authenticity, compassion and respect have had a powerful impact on me, and reading about your fears, coming out stories, and experiences has really helped me get an idea of what my son has experienced or will experience in the future. So thank you for allowing me to learn through you! While I imagine my particpation here will be more taking than giving, I hope you are all okay with my continued presence and I will contribute where I can. My hope is that my son opens up to me soon. When that happens-next week, next month next year-one of the first things I'll do is make sure he knows about EC as a resource for support and education. At that point I'll delete my account so he can have his own private place to come and get information without mom looking over his shoulder.
Welcome, and just to let you know I have absolute respect for a parent who genuinely cares for their child and is going to lengths to support them
Hi! Nice to meet you! Welcome to EC! You are an awesome parent! I think everyone here can be a huge help to you and your son. So... Welcome!
Hiiiii you are undoubtedly welcome to EC EC is almost like a big family and now we have a great mom in our Family (*hug*) there is something else that i should add, I told one of my straight friends about the great thing you are doing for your son, and she said that she really really loves you
Hey, welcome to EC! It sounds like you're a great parent and it's great that you're okay with your son being gay. I hope that you'll find EC helpful for when your son finally comes out to you and that it'll be fine in the end. Don't worry about the whole "taking more than giving" thing, all of us here are willing to help those who ask for it. You're welcome here for as long as you want and can ask whatever you want.
Hello, WallyGirl, and welcome to EC. It was the right thing to do, to not confront him about this. Give him the time he needs to find the words to tell you. It's a pleasure to have a supportive parent on the forums, so make yourself at home.
Thanks for the welcoming words! And for the permission to crash your community:icon_bigg I look forward to getting to know you all and learning from you.