Hows it goin? - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender people coming out

jaydog5050 · 24th Jun 2012, 12:03 AM

So Im 35 and about 5 weeks ago I decided that yes Im gay...Ive told 4 people so far and i think I lost a brother, but at least I can look at myself in the mirror now and like myself.
Ive had a crazy life and have done some insane things, but looking back me being gay isint the end of the world I always thought it would be......

thylvin · 24th Jun 2012, 01:43 AM

Hi and welcome. Yeah some people don't like it. My brother in law banned me from his house so I can't even visit my sister (not that I like the as-hole anyway). So there will always be some idiots like that in families.

**Ethan** · 24th Jun 2012, 10:26 AM

Heyo, welcome to EC!

Ace94 · 24th Jun 2012, 11:38 AM

Hey-Low their, welcome to EC!

WhoAmI76 · 24th Jun 2012, 12:15 PM

Came here looking to find stories more similar to mine. First post I read is yours coming out at 35.

. Thanks for sharing. What was it that finally convinced you to do it?

Aeon Magus · 24th Jun 2012, 12:16 PM

Hello, and welcome to EC, Jaydog.

**thecat06** · 24th Jun 2012, 07:40 PM

Hello and Welcome!!

jaydog5050 · 25th Jun 2012, 12:52 AM

Well Whoami
It all started a month ago when my bestfirend killed himself.
He was the type of person that you couldent really ever get to know. There was always a part that was hidden in him. And on my path to understand his death I stopped took a long look at myself and decided to stop lying to myself. You see I had hidden so well that even I had been convinced...
Lame I know but that's what I was doing my whole life.
I'm simplifying it but that's what started the prosses.

So now I'm here trying to figure out what to do next.

silverhalo · 25th Jun 2012, 01:24 AM

Hey welcome to EC.

WhoAmI76 · 25th Jun 2012, 06:44 AM

Jaydog,

Sorry to hear about your friend, that's terrible.

I totally understand convincing everyone including yourself. I keep going back and forth between trying to accept internally, and desperate desire to just fit in and live the traditional dream life, wife kids and picket fences. But I think I know that's not the right path, but the other is still pretty scary to contemplate. On some level I wish I had figured this out sooner. Now comming out feels like really telling everyone I care about that I've been lying to them all this time in addition to all normal stress and fears. Hoping to get the inspiration from others to proceed on the right but scary path!

Thanks again for sharing I hope you find what you need. Would love to keep in touch if you want someone to share, vent, or just chat.

jaydog5050 · 25th Jun 2012, 11:17 AM

lol I know exactly what you mean about the picket fences. that was always something i never wanted. My ex fiance just couldn't under stand why i never wanted to buy a house and "settle down".

As far as telling people im realizing that you dont have to until your done figuring out whats in your head. hell in my life and the people ive known theirs at least 2 guys that will try to kick my ass. but hey im tough i can take it when im ready.

the fear you feel is normal when ever your life goes through major transition. take your time! and remember life isn't a path its life. its messy and confusing but its what we got...

---------- Post added 25th Jun 2012 at 11:44 AM ----------

Oh and thank you all for the warm greetings!

24th Jun 2012, 12:03 AM	#1
jaydog5050 Newbie Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: A few people Location: Sacramento Posts: 8 Join Date: Jun 2012	Hows it goin? So Im 35 and about 5 weeks ago I decided that yes Im gay...Ive told 4 people so far and i think I lost a brother, but at least I can look at myself in the mirror now and like myself. Ive had a crazy life and have done some insane things, but looking back me being gay isint the end of the world I always thought it would be......

24th Jun 2012, 01:43 AM	#2
thylvin Banned Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Windhoek Age: 33 Posts: 1,280 Join Date: Jun 2011	Re: Hows it goin? Hi and welcome. Yeah some people don't like it. My brother in law banned me from his house so I can't even visit my sister (not that I like the as-hole anyway). So there will always be some idiots like that in families.

24th Jun 2012, 10:26 AM	#3
Ethan Formerly known as Nazo EC Moderator Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: A few and then some Location: Michigan Age: 20 Posts: 2,722 Join Date: Dec 2010	Re: Hows it goin? Heyo, welcome to EC! __________________ "You cannot roll with me," said the Big O, "but perhaps you can roll by yourself." "By myself? A missing piece cannot roll by itself." "Have you ever tried?" asked the Big O.

24th Jun 2012, 11:38 AM	#4
Ace94 Banned Full Member Gender: Gender doesn't matter. Orientation: I like those of the female variety. Out Status: Out to everyone Location: In the mosh pits goin' hard. \m/ Age: 18 Posts: 1,414 Join Date: Jan 2012	Re: Hows it goin? Hey-Low their, welcome to EC!

24th Jun 2012, 12:15 PM	#5
WhoAmI76 Member Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Not out at all Location: Portand, or Age: 36 Posts: 23 Join Date: Jun 2012	Re: Hows it goin? Came here looking to find stories more similar to mine. First post I read is yours coming out at 35. . Thanks for sharing. What was it that finally convinced you to do it?

24th Jun 2012, 12:16 PM	#6
Aeon Magus EC's Blue Gaylien Full Member Gender: I go peepee standing up xD Orientation: I'm a Man's Man Out Status: The people that I care about most. Location: Western Cape, SA Age: 27 Posts: 2,919 Join Date: Nov 2011	Re: Hows it goin? Hello, and welcome to EC, Jaydog. __________________ Sing me a Painting, I'll paint you a Song Inside my heart is breaking. My make-up may be flaking, but my smile still stays on. The show must go on.

24th Jun 2012, 07:40 PM	#7
thecat06 Let the journey of life continue! EC Moderator Gender: Let's say Pangender! Orientation: Let's say gay!! (Homoromantic Demisexual) Out Status: Out as pan to most, out as gay completely Location: Central and Northern Ohio Age: 20 Posts: 7,066 Join Date: Jun 2011 Tournaments Won: 9	Re: Hows it goin? Hello and Welcome!! __________________ The tide of history only advances when people make themselves fully visible. -Anderson Cooper

25th Jun 2012, 12:52 AM	#8
jaydog5050 Newbie Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: A few people Location: Sacramento Posts: 8 Join Date: Jun 2012	Re: Hows it goin? Well Whoami It all started a month ago when my bestfirend killed himself. He was the type of person that you couldent really ever get to know. There was always a part that was hidden in him. And on my path to understand his death I stopped took a long look at myself and decided to stop lying to myself. You see I had hidden so well that even I had been convinced... Lame I know but that's what I was doing my whole life. I'm simplifying it but that's what started the prosses. So now I'm here trying to figure out what to do next. Last edited by jaydog5050; 25th Jun 2012 at 01:03 AM..

25th Jun 2012, 01:24 AM	#9
silverhalo EC Addict Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: Quite a few Location: England, Age: 30 Posts: 4,219 Join Date: Dec 2008 Tournaments Won: 21	Re: Hows it goin? Hey welcome to EC.

25th Jun 2012, 06:44 AM	#10
WhoAmI76 Member Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Not out at all Location: Portand, or Age: 36 Posts: 23 Join Date: Jun 2012	Re: Hows it goin? Jaydog, Sorry to hear about your friend, that's terrible. I totally understand convincing everyone including yourself. I keep going back and forth between trying to accept internally, and desperate desire to just fit in and live the traditional dream life, wife kids and picket fences. But I think I know that's not the right path, but the other is still pretty scary to contemplate. On some level I wish I had figured this out sooner. Now comming out feels like really telling everyone I care about that I've been lying to them all this time in addition to all normal stress and fears. Hoping to get the inspiration from others to proceed on the right but scary path! Thanks again for sharing I hope you find what you need. Would love to keep in touch if you want someone to share, vent, or just chat.

25th Jun 2012, 11:17 AM	#11
jaydog5050 Newbie Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: A few people Location: Sacramento Posts: 8 Join Date: Jun 2012	Re: Hows it goin? lol I know exactly what you mean about the picket fences. that was always something i never wanted. My ex fiance just couldn't under stand why i never wanted to buy a house and "settle down". As far as telling people im realizing that you dont have to until your done figuring out whats in your head. hell in my life and the people ive known theirs at least 2 guys that will try to kick my ass. but hey im tough i can take it when im ready. the fear you feel is normal when ever your life goes through major transition. take your time! and remember life isn't a path its life. its messy and confusing but its what we got... ---------- Post added 25th Jun 2012 at 11:44 AM ---------- Oh and thank you all for the warm greetings!

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