Not sure that I belong here, but hello anyway - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender people coming out

Iamthewalrus · 8th Aug 2012, 12:02 PM

As the title might suggest, I'm not really sure if I should be here because I'm a bit further on in trying to come out and live as I want to than I imagine most people are when they first come here. However even though it has been comparatively easy to come out, dealing with the consequences of it has been quite tough and recently I've begun to admit that I have been affected by what has happened. I have some experience that I might be able to pass on and I'm also hoping that I might find some advice to help with what I'm dealing with at the moment.

I'm Ben by the way, and I'm also not a walrus, I just have a happy memory of the first time I listened to the Beatles song and for some reason it was in my mind when I had to think of a username.

Bobbgooduk · 8th Aug 2012, 12:05 PM

Hello, Ben, and welcome

TheEdend · 8th Aug 2012, 12:07 PM

Welcome to EC!

You will most def belong here even if you are further along the coming out experience than some people. I personally joined this site after I came out and already had a boyfriend. It still helped me out A LOT with other issues that I didn't even know I had.

Hope you find what you are looking for and that you enjoy the site

Romi · 8th Aug 2012, 12:36 PM

Well hello there, Ben. As cool as it would have been to meet a real walrus...I am still very happy to welcome you to EC. While EC is great for those who are trying to find themselves and are unsure of how to come out, etc, it is also a really great place for people who are already out. The community here offers so much support and advice for every angle in life that its okay if you're further along.

Your experiences are bound to help out someone, just as another's experiences might help you. So take a gander around and I'm sure you'll find what you're looking for. We're all here for you. Through the good and bad. :]

Menaki-Neko · 8th Aug 2012, 01:24 PM

Hi Ben! Welcome to Empty Closets! I assure you that you're welcome here, if it helps any there are even some people here that are straight.

malachite · 8th Aug 2012, 01:30 PM

welcome and I'm sure the folks here would like to hear your words of wisdom

alex2020 · 8th Aug 2012, 02:37 PM

Bienvenue!

Vesper · 8th Aug 2012, 03:29 PM

Of course you're welcome here. No one's turned away, especially those who have a lot of experience with which to give advice to people just beginning or about to begin the process.

**thecat06** · 8th Aug 2012, 05:51 PM

Hello and Welcome!!

Bree · 8th Aug 2012, 06:06 PM

Welcome!

Don't worry, lots of us are already out. I have a friend group that's almost entirely composed of queer kids. It's just nice to talk to people here where you don't have to worry about the inter-group politics.

RueBea85 · 8th Aug 2012, 09:50 PM

Welcome to EC! It's a great place to be!!

thylvin · 9th Aug 2012, 06:56 AM

Ben the walrus

Sorry didn't mean to offend, but hopefully it should make you laugh.

Welcome to EC, and as always its good to get more people involved, and no matter what kind of problem you might be facing, we will always be able to help out, or if not, point you in the right direction.

Iamthewalrus · 9th Aug 2012, 10:26 AM

Thankyou all for the warm welcome, and Ben the walrus is fine with me, I kinda set myself up for it in case I needed a laugh anytime. It's good to hear that i'm not crashing where I shouldn't be, I do hope that I can give out some good advice if I see an opportunity but to receive it myself is a bit more complicated - I tried to write something and I wrote a novel that doesn't even make much sense. A shorter post that makes sense will eventually be forthcoming I hope.

**Gravity** · 9th Aug 2012, 03:50 PM

Welcome to the site! And don't worry, we have all types here.

You certainly belong if you want to belong.

**BudderMC** · 9th Aug 2012, 05:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iamthewalrus

but to receive it myself is a bit more complicated - I tried to write something and I wrote a novel that doesn't even make much sense. A shorter post that makes sense will eventually be forthcoming I hope.

Trust me, I do this in nearly EVERY thread I post asking for advice. Someone here will be able to decipher it, I have no doubt. And if we can't... well, likely someone will just ask for clarification. Don't worry, you're not the only one guilty of this

thylvin · 10th Aug 2012, 08:12 AM

Don't worry too much over the length of it, We are patient readers and love to read!

Fedimex · 10th Aug 2012, 11:07 AM

Hi Ben, welcome!

8th Aug 2012, 12:02 PM	#1
Iamthewalrus Member Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Posts: 93 Join Date: Aug 2012	Not sure that I belong here, but hello anyway As the title might suggest, I'm not really sure if I should be here because I'm a bit further on in trying to come out and live as I want to than I imagine most people are when they first come here. However even though it has been comparatively easy to come out, dealing with the consequences of it has been quite tough and recently I've begun to admit that I have been affected by what has happened. I have some experience that I might be able to pass on and I'm also hoping that I might find some advice to help with what I'm dealing with at the moment. I'm Ben by the way, and I'm also not a walrus, I just have a happy memory of the first time I listened to the Beatles song and for some reason it was in my mind when I had to think of a username.

8th Aug 2012, 12:05 PM	#2
Bobbgooduk Banned Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Age: 54 Posts: 703 Join Date: Jul 2012	Re: Not sure that I belong here, but hello anyway Hello, Ben, and welcome

8th Aug 2012, 12:07 PM	#3
TheEdend Hope will never be silent Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Orlando, Florida Age: 22 Posts: 4,265 Join Date: Mar 2010	Re: Not sure that I belong here, but hello anyway Welcome to EC! You will most def belong here even if you are further along the coming out experience than some people. I personally joined this site after I came out and already had a boyfriend. It still helped me out A LOT with other issues that I didn't even know I had. Hope you find what you are looking for and that you enjoy the site __________________ "Either/or is the language of bullies" - Kate Bornstein

8th Aug 2012, 12:36 PM	#4
Romi Love Full Member Gender: Genderqueer Out Status: Most are aware to some degree. Location: Virginia/NC Age: 25 Posts: 2,027 Join Date: Aug 2012	Re: Not sure that I belong here, but hello anyway Well hello there, Ben. As cool as it would have been to meet a real walrus...I am still very happy to welcome you to EC. While EC is great for those who are trying to find themselves and are unsure of how to come out, etc, it is also a really great place for people who are already out. The community here offers so much support and advice for every angle in life that its okay if you're further along. Your experiences are bound to help out someone, just as another's experiences might help you. So take a gander around and I'm sure you'll find what you're looking for. We're all here for you. Through the good and bad. :] __________________ * * * If you get lost, you can always be found. Just know you’re not alone. Cause I’m going to make this place your home.

8th Aug 2012, 01:24 PM	#5
Menaki-Neko The Asian With A Wig Full Member Gender: Questioning Orientation: Gay, maybe bi Out Status: Not out about my gender, out about my sexuality Location: Fargo North Dakota, USA, Earth, Milky Way Galaxy Posts: 558 Join Date: Dec 2011	Re: Not sure that I belong here, but hello anyway Hi Ben! Welcome to Empty Closets! I assure you that you're welcome here, if it helps any there are even some people here that are straight.

8th Aug 2012, 01:30 PM	#6
malachite EC's realist Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Orlando Posts: 7,200 Join Date: Apr 2009	Re: Not sure that I belong here, but hello anyway welcome and I'm sure the folks here would like to hear your words of wisdom __________________ 4 out 5 divorcees agree that marriage is a sacred union.

8th Aug 2012, 02:37 PM	#7
alex2020 EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: It fluctuates. Out Status: To some. Location: Florida Age: 21 Posts: 2,062 Join Date: Aug 2011 Tournaments Won: 2	Re: Not sure that I belong here, but hello anyway Bienvenue! __________________ “Be yourself. Above all, let who you are, what you are, what you believe, shine through every sentence you write, every piece you finish.”

8th Aug 2012, 03:29 PM	#8
Vesper Female Gorilla Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Probably asexual/mostly homoromantic. Out Status: To some friends, but not to family Location: Wisconsin, USA Age: 27 Posts: 1,803 Join Date: Oct 2011	Re: Not sure that I belong here, but hello anyway Of course you're welcome here. No one's turned away, especially those who have a lot of experience with which to give advice to people just beginning or about to begin the process. __________________ --- “But evil cannot be made good by revelation, and good cannot be made evil by persecution.” - Helen H. Gardener

8th Aug 2012, 05:51 PM	#9
thecat06 Let the journey of life continue! EC Moderator Gender: Let's say Pangender! (Leaning towards male) Orientation: Let's say gay!! (Homoromantic Demisexual) Out Status: Pretty close to 100% out. Location: Central and Northern Ohio Age: 20 Posts: 7,332 Join Date: Jun 2011 Tournaments Won: 10	Re: Not sure that I belong here, but hello anyway Hello and Welcome!! __________________ The tide of history only advances when people make themselves fully visible. -Anderson Cooper

8th Aug 2012, 06:06 PM	#10
Bree Homework Avoidance Master Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Grey-romantic pansexual? Out Status: Out to everyone Location: BC, Canada Age: 21 Posts: 945 Join Date: Apr 2012	Re: Not sure that I belong here, but hello anyway Welcome! Don't worry, lots of us are already out. I have a friend group that's almost entirely composed of queer kids. It's just nice to talk to people here where you don't have to worry about the inter-group politics. __________________ "You can't make footprints in the sands of time by sitting on your butt--and who wants to make buttprints in the sands of time?" -Bob Moawad

8th Aug 2012, 09:50 PM	#11
RueBea85 Never Be Afraid To Be You Full Member Gender: Lesbian Orientation: A lady lovin' lady Out Status: 40ish people now Location: I'm Canadian eh? Age: 22 Posts: 1,131 Join Date: Jun 2012	Re: Not sure that I belong here, but hello anyway Welcome to EC! It's a great place to be!! __________________ "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Suess

9th Aug 2012, 06:56 AM	#12
thylvin Banned Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Windhoek Age: 33 Posts: 1,280 Join Date: Jun 2011	Re: Not sure that I belong here, but hello anyway Ben the walrus Sorry didn't mean to offend, but hopefully it should make you laugh. Welcome to EC, and as always its good to get more people involved, and no matter what kind of problem you might be facing, we will always be able to help out, or if not, point you in the right direction.

9th Aug 2012, 10:26 AM	#13
Iamthewalrus Member Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Posts: 93 Join Date: Aug 2012	Re: Not sure that I belong here, but hello anyway Thankyou all for the warm welcome, and Ben the walrus is fine with me, I kinda set myself up for it in case I needed a laugh anytime. It's good to hear that i'm not crashing where I shouldn't be, I do hope that I can give out some good advice if I see an opportunity but to receive it myself is a bit more complicated - I tried to write something and I wrote a novel that doesn't even make much sense. A shorter post that makes sense will eventually be forthcoming I hope.

9th Aug 2012, 03:50 PM	#14
Gravity Empty Closets Advisor EC Advisor Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Arizona Age: 32 Posts: 1,603 Join Date: Nov 2011	Re: Not sure that I belong here, but hello anyway Welcome to the site! And don't worry, we have all types here. You certainly belong if you want to belong. __________________ "If you didn't think it would hurt your reputation, what would you choose?"

10th Aug 2012, 08:12 AM	#16
thylvin Banned Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Windhoek Age: 33 Posts: 1,280 Join Date: Jun 2011	Re: Not sure that I belong here, but hello anyway Don't worry too much over the length of it, We are patient readers and love to read!

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10th Aug 2012, 11:07 AM	#17
Fedimex Yummy candyyy~ o.o Full Member Gender: Genderqueer Orientation: Pansexual - More committed to woman. Out Status: Online - A lot, In real life- 3 Posts: 1,267 Join Date: Mar 2012	Re: Not sure that I belong here, but hello anyway Hi Ben, welcome!