Hi ~shy smile~ - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender people coming out

Linguistic_Geek · 21st Aug 2012, 07:57 PM

Hi all!

I just signed up today and thought I would jump in and introduce myself.

Um...I'm female. I'm a grad student. I love to bake and cook and sew and paint (walls, not pictures), and all that good stuff.

I'm not exactly...out....I haven't told many people, but most of my friends know. I have problems with the words "I'm gay" but I'm ok with the words "I want a girlfriend" (if someone could explain to me WHY that is, I'd be very very happy). So far everyone has been incredibly supportive.

That's all....for now....I think....

Nocturnal · 21st Aug 2012, 08:00 PM

Hello & Welcome.

It is called denial?

**thecat06** · 21st Aug 2012, 08:53 PM

Hello and Welcome!!

Gen · 21st Aug 2012, 09:22 PM

Why Hello (^_^)^

Hot Pink · 21st Aug 2012, 11:18 PM

Welcome to EC! Nothing to be nervous about. We're all friendly here--mostly. I bite, though, so watch out.

Katelynn · 22nd Aug 2012, 12:01 AM

Hi CdnTeapot! Welcome so much to EC!!!

Simple, the reason you dont like saying youre gay but are fine with saying you want a girfriend is easy - you, like many of us here, dont like being labeled. Who does? A lot of people dont like slapping a label on themselves, being summed up as a 'gay' or 'lesbian' is no different that being summed up as a 'gearhead' or 'band geek' or a 'brainiac'. Many people dont like being reduced down to such a basic level, it just doesnt define the complex, wonderful, unique people that they are! At the same time, you're good with saying you want a girlfriend because that is how you feel & you are comfortable with saying that & feeling that, which is good! It means you are open & honest with yourself about what you want for yourself & as a part of your life! Hope that helps, or at least makes some sense!

22nd Aug 2012, 02:00 AM

Hi there Welcome to Ec

Bi Since Birth · 22nd Aug 2012, 02:51 AM

hello and welcome! It's understandable to not like the words "I'm gay". If you aren't completely out and/or comfortable with yourself it is completely normal. When I first started coming out to my friends as bi it was hard for me to say "I'm bi". It usually came out as "I'm" (strong and confident) then "bi" (which kind of trailed off and I may or may not have to repeat myself because the volume I said it was so quiet). I also remember even after I came out talking about my boyfriend or a date I went on to friends I know are fine with it and getting all nervous and shaky, not making eye contact. It's normal. We've grown up in a society where the word gay holds a stigma and its hard to shake. It gets easier to say it the more you say it. I suggest saying it to yourself everynight before you go to sleep. I know it sounds stupid but it really helped me a lot. Everynight before I went to bed I'd whisper it to my pillow, until it eventually just rolled off of my tongue....

Anyways, welcome again!

ForceAndVerve · 22nd Aug 2012, 09:29 AM

Welcome!

Schabanak · 22nd Aug 2012, 10:55 AM

Welcome to EC

Silver Sparrow · 22nd Aug 2012, 02:43 PM

Welcome to EC!
As many above posters said, a lot of people don't like labeling themselves. There still isn't a label that's comfortable for me, so I mostly use panfluid or sometimes bi. Whatever works for you should work for everyone.

Kat kanu · 22nd Aug 2012, 05:53 PM

Hi hows it going nice to meet ya everyone is real cool on here so don't be afraid
to talk to all us

Linguistic_Geek · 22nd Aug 2012, 08:47 PM

Thanks for the warm welcomes. I'll post more when I get the words in my head to make sense outside of my head...

itsjoanna · 23rd Aug 2012, 08:47 AM

Hello and Welcome to EC!

malachite · 23rd Aug 2012, 09:45 AM

welcome

Aeon Magus · 24th Aug 2012, 04:09 PM

Hello, CdnTeapot, and welcome to EC.

21st Aug 2012, 07:57 PM	#1
Linguistic_Geek Member Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Forward Out Status: Not hiding, but not screaming from the rooftops. Age: 34 Posts: 92 Join Date: Aug 2012	Hi ~shy smile~ Hi all! I just signed up today and thought I would jump in and introduce myself. Um...I'm female. I'm a grad student. I love to bake and cook and sew and paint (walls, not pictures), and all that good stuff. I'm not exactly...out....I haven't told many people, but most of my friends know. I have problems with the words "I'm gay" but I'm ok with the words "I want a girlfriend" (if someone could explain to me WHY that is, I'd be very very happy). So far everyone has been incredibly supportive. That's all....for now....I think....

21st Aug 2012, 08:00 PM	#2
Nocturnal Asleep - The Smiths. Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Bi/Homoromantic/Asexual Out Status: 3 of my good friends. Location: Southern California. Age: 17 Posts: 248 Join Date: Aug 2012	Re: Hi ~shy smile~ Hello & Welcome. It is called denial? __________________ "My hell comes from inside, comes from inside myself."

21st Aug 2012, 08:53 PM	#3
thecat06 Let the journey of life continue! EC Moderator Gender: Let's say Pangender! (Leaning towards male) Orientation: Let's say gay!! (Homoromantic Demisexual) Out Status: Pretty close to 100% out. Location: Central and Northern Ohio Age: 20 Posts: 7,321 Join Date: Jun 2011 Tournaments Won: 10	Re: Hi ~shy smile~ Hello and Welcome!! __________________ The tide of history only advances when people make themselves fully visible. -Anderson Cooper

21st Aug 2012, 09:22 PM	#4
Gen The Epitome of Psychotic Brilliance Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: My Closet is Made of Glass ( ._.) Location: California Posts: 1,784 Join Date: May 2012	Re: Hi ~shy smile~ Why Hello (^_^)^ __________________ Confidence Should Never Be Mistaken For Arrogance. Arrogance Is Believing You Are Without Flaw. Confidence Is Accepting That At The End Of The Day, Besides These Flaws, You Are Still Beautiful.

21st Aug 2012, 11:18 PM	#5
Hot Pink Chaotic Neutral Dyke Full Member Gender: Female (MtF) Orientation: I like kitties Out Status: THE WORLD, BITCHES! Location: Minnesota, USA Age: 28 Posts: 1,024 Join Date: Apr 2011	Re: Hi ~shy smile~ Welcome to EC! Nothing to be nervous about. We're all friendly here--mostly. I bite, though, so watch out. __________________ Pffffffft...

22nd Aug 2012, 12:01 AM	#6
Katelynn The user formerly known as kiersten Full Member Gender: Transgender - MtF Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: Pretty much out to friends,family & at my college Location: Sarnia, ON Posts: 1,555 Join Date: Jun 2011	Re: Hi ~shy smile~ Hi CdnTeapot! Welcome so much to EC!!! Simple, the reason you dont like saying youre gay but are fine with saying you want a girfriend is easy - you, like many of us here, dont like being labeled. Who does? A lot of people dont like slapping a label on themselves, being summed up as a 'gay' or 'lesbian' is no different that being summed up as a 'gearhead' or 'band geek' or a 'brainiac'. Many people dont like being reduced down to such a basic level, it just doesnt define the complex, wonderful, unique people that they are! At the same time, you're good with saying you want a girlfriend because that is how you feel & you are comfortable with saying that & feeling that, which is good! It means you are open & honest with yourself about what you want for yourself & as a part of your life! Hope that helps, or at least makes some sense! __________________ Penny: What's Sheldon's deal? Leonard: What do you mean "deal"? Penny : You know, like, what's his deal? Is it girls? Guys? Sock puppets? Leonard: Honestly, we've been operating under the assumption that he has no deal.

22nd Aug 2012, 02:00 AM	#7
Witchcraft Guest Posts: n/a Tournaments Won: 15	Re: Hi ~shy smile~ Hi there Welcome to Ec

22nd Aug 2012, 02:51 AM	#8
Bi Since Birth Well Known Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Homoromantic Bisexual Out Status: Everyone important minus 4 friends and my family Location: Malibu/LA Age: 25 Posts: 139 Join Date: Jan 2012	Re: Hi ~shy smile~ hello and welcome! It's understandable to not like the words "I'm gay". If you aren't completely out and/or comfortable with yourself it is completely normal. When I first started coming out to my friends as bi it was hard for me to say "I'm bi". It usually came out as "I'm" (strong and confident) then "bi" (which kind of trailed off and I may or may not have to repeat myself because the volume I said it was so quiet). I also remember even after I came out talking about my boyfriend or a date I went on to friends I know are fine with it and getting all nervous and shaky, not making eye contact. It's normal. We've grown up in a society where the word gay holds a stigma and its hard to shake. It gets easier to say it the more you say it. I suggest saying it to yourself everynight before you go to sleep. I know it sounds stupid but it really helped me a lot. Everynight before I went to bed I'd whisper it to my pillow, until it eventually just rolled off of my tongue.... Anyways, welcome again! __________________ All the cute boys are straight and all the hot girls are lesbians...gotta love the challenges life throws at you

22nd Aug 2012, 09:29 AM	#9
ForceAndVerve EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Not out at all Location: UK Posts: 686 Join Date: Aug 2012	Re: Hi ~shy smile~ Welcome!

22nd Aug 2012, 10:55 AM	#10
Schabanak Grand Crusader Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Sweet Guys <3 Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Germany Age: 19 Posts: 497 Join Date: Aug 2012	Re: Hi ~shy smile~ Welcome to EC __________________ The decent men are ugly. The handsome men are indecent. The decent and handsome guys are gay. The rest is married.

22nd Aug 2012, 02:43 PM	#11
Silver Sparrow Spoken word nerd Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Pan-fluid/bi/I don't care. Out Status: not hiding at school;very out at camp Location: Massachusetts Posts: 353 Join Date: Oct 2011	Re: Hi ~shy smile~ Welcome to EC! As many above posters said, a lot of people don't like labeling themselves. There still isn't a label that's comfortable for me, so I mostly use panfluid or sometimes bi. Whatever works for you should work for everyone. __________________ “Because there's nothing more beautiful than the way the ocean refuses to stop kissing the shoreline, no matter how many times it's sent away.” ― Sarah Kay

22nd Aug 2012, 05:53 PM	#12
Kat kanu otaku Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: everyone but parents are anti-gay Location: kingwood, Texas Age: 22 Posts: 920 Join Date: Aug 2012	Re: Hi ~shy smile~ Hi hows it going nice to meet ya everyone is real cool on here so don't be afraid to talk to all us __________________ straight as a rainbow and twice as colorful!!! KAT=^.^=

22nd Aug 2012, 08:47 PM	#13
Linguistic_Geek Member Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Forward Out Status: Not hiding, but not screaming from the rooftops. Age: 34 Posts: 92 Join Date: Aug 2012	Re: Hi ~shy smile~ Thanks for the warm welcomes. I'll post more when I get the words in my head to make sense outside of my head...

23rd Aug 2012, 08:47 AM	#14
itsjoanna gay shark Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: my best friend and that's it Location: Canada Posts: 158 Join Date: Aug 2012	Re: Hi ~shy smile~ Hello and Welcome to EC!

23rd Aug 2012, 09:45 AM	#15
malachite EC's realist Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Orlando Posts: 7,200 Join Date: Apr 2009	Re: Hi ~shy smile~ welcome __________________ 4 out 5 divorcees agree that marriage is a sacred union.

24th Aug 2012, 04:09 PM	#16
Aeon Magus EC's Blue Gaylien Full Member Gender: I go peepee standing up xD Orientation: I'm a Man's Man Out Status: The people that I care about most. Location: Western Cape, SA Age: 27 Posts: 2,919 Join Date: Nov 2011	Re: Hi ~shy smile~ Hello, CdnTeapot, and welcome to EC. __________________ Sing me a Painting, I'll paint you a Song Inside my heart is breaking. My make-up may be flaking, but my smile still stays on. The show must go on.