I'm most definitely late in introducing myself to fellow members here at EC. However, in haste, I just couldn't wait to interact with like-minded people. That's just how I've been ever since I found out there were other people out there, just like me. I first discovered that I was different, from my brother who is nine years older than me. He would constantly tease me. He would even join neighbors, relatives, and friends of the family, in mimicking my hand gestures, way of speaking, and walking on my tip toes. Verbal abuse was never enough for him, as physical abuse was handed down to me practically everyday, until one day my mother lost it and when absolutely ape**** on him! I never will forget that day! I knew from that day forward, that I would always be able to depend upon mom. Whenever, I would attempt to play with boys my own age as a pre-adolescent child, it would almost always end badly. Most times, I'd end up getting punched in the face or something, until eventually, my mother had enough of threatening other kid's parents about hitting. My mother eventually forbade me to play outside. All recreation, playing with friends or neighbors had to be strictly monitored. One day, a boy pretended to want to be my friend just so that he could quickly punch me and escape back to his home, before my mother would be any wiser. He did this on a dare! I did know what hurt the worse, my bloodied lip, or the loss of what I thought was going to become the beginning of a great brand new friendship. This kid played the role like an excellent actor, right up to the sucker punch to the mouth. I then learned that my only safety zone of comfort was solely with girls. I then found solace with a few of the neighborhood girls. One soon became my best friend. Her name was, Brenda. We remained friends throughout elementary school. I soon moved, there afterwards. I always felt much comfort and enjoyed my time as child most when with Brenda. We played Jacks, Hopscotch, Paddleball, and House. She always insisted that I be the daddy. I would always ask,"Why do I always have to be the daddy?". Brenda had practically every doll that you could imagine. I used to absolutely love playing with dolls and playing the roll of "mommy". On my ninth birthday, Brenda gifted me a teddy bear. I named the teddy bear, "Baby". I carried Baby practically everywhere I went for over a year. I broke my heart to hear my mother tell me that I couldn't take it to school with me. However, everywhere else I went, Baby went! To the supermarkets, to the mall, to relative's houses, and even to the YMCA day summer camp! I had to grow up really fast during my first year of junior high school. Both the verbal abuse and the physical abuse was quickly escalating. My had been giving me tips on boxing all along. However, proir to junior high school, I just never had any interest in fighting. At some point just prior to the Xmas holidays, I decided that the next time somebody tried to push me into a locker or down the stairwell, I was going to retaliate! Sure enough, along comes this big kid who I could always depend upon some type of verbal abuse. First he called me a "****ing faggot". I ignored him...Next, he pushed me really hard into a girl who was walking ahead of me. She turned around and instinctively pushed me away. I then dropped my books and began punching this guy exactly the way that my brother had taught me. I felt like a professional boxer or something. This kid was so shocked that I even was retaliating, it took him half a second to realize what was really taking place. I was quite literally kicking is butt! After that, I didn't hear too much teasing and the physical abuse stopped immediately... Anyways, that pretty much sums up my childhood! I had no real friends in junior high school. I was pretty much an embarassment to befriend due to my effeminate mannerisms. Therefore, textbooks became my only friends...
