I'm a senior at a fairly accepting school in Alabama that definitely has other LGBT students. First of all, I'm kind of homophobic which I hate. But I'm a lot less homophobic/biphobic/transphobic if it's in reference to an LGBT person who isn't me. I have always been really attached to my best friend and have been devastated ever since she got a boyfriend almost two years ago. We've always been really cuddly and (jokingly) flirtatious. Now we never even talk and I sometimes find myself checking out other girls. I'll also check out hot guys and definitely had crushes on guys up until about ninth grade, but it's just not the same. It's more like admiration. I destest everything girly when it comes to wearing it myself (I'm biologically female) and have worn t-shirts, jeans, and sneakers everyday for most of my life. I feel like I'm in drag when I wear makeup. I've even been mistaken for a guy before and was flattered, and I would love to dress in more masculine clothes. The thing is, I'm really depressed with few friends and some social anxiety, and it kind of skews my perception of life and makes me paranoid. I feel like if I dress the way I want or act on my attraction to girls, I'll be stuck that way forever which kind of scares me. I'd like to just get some friends and figure out my sexuality/gender along the way, but I'm really self-conscious about both and it makes me avoid talking to people out of fear that they'll know and judge me for it. Anyway, sorry about how long this is. Thanks for reading; it feels good to get all this out!
Hello and Welcome!! This sounds so much like me. I hate wearing girly clothes.. I almost always am in men's clothes. I just feel more comfortable in them.
Welcome! I'm 16 & till now, I've always worn tight jeans & sneakers. I do not like any girly thing besides fragrance & stuff. I've never put on make up, I feel like I have a clown face when I do. In clothing, I like guy t-shirts more personally because they feel comfy. But I like to sit on the fence on how I would dress.
Hey, welcome to EC :icon_wink I know what you mean. I was in that situation not so long ago and still am somewhat. I felt like once I accepted my attraction to girls, there would be no turning back, I'd be "stuck" as you say and it was scary. Gradually though, I got used to the idea, to the fact that I probably wouldn't date guys or have a husband and it's not so scary anymore. As to dating girls, it's a whole new kettle of fish yet to be explored! It takes time unfortunately but take things slowly, hang around on EC for support and get it all out of your system. (*hug*)
I can totally relate to that. Actually, I just don't even wear make-up because it dorsn't feel comfortable, so I get what you are saying. I hope you can figure everything out. For now welcome to EC!
