Hi. This'll be quick as I'm on break and using my phone. I'm 30 years old and relatively certain in my heart that, though I was born physically male, I'm truly female in every other aspect. I have yet to see a therapist about it (something I intend to remedy in the coming months) but I'm nervous. The freinds I've talked to about it are supportive of me and my decision to seek help, and have assured me that whatever I find out, and whatever changes I may have to make, they'll be around for me through it all. I'm still a bit frightened, but I know I can't keep repressing it. Thought I'd take a look at this place and see what kind of community it is, because it would be nice to have others to talk to. Post more when I get home and have a keyboard. Nice to meet you all!
Thank you all for the warm welcomes thus far. Pexetta, I am absolutely in love with your signature quote! Every single time I've sat down to try and talk to somebody about what I'm going through, that very thought runs through my mind: How much easier the conversation would be if I were gay instead of Trans!:eusa_clap I certainly don't mean to take anything away from anybody who's struggling with coming out as gay. I know from personal experience what a trying and terrifying experience coming out can be. When I was still figuring out my orientation and coming to grips with it, I wasn't completely sure what I was. I came out to my mother as gay before that confusion cleared, and it was one of the scariest, most difficult things I've ever done. I cried. At least though, I didn't have to try and explain what that meant. I have a keyboard now, yay! Love my phone, but trying to enter in anything longer than a few sentences on a text pad simply drives me insane!:bang::tantrum: Okay, so I'm not going to take up too much time on the intro page delving into my dark and sordid past. Suffice it to say, these feelings have been with me for a very long time (at least as far back as I can remember). I've never felt "right" for whatever that is worth. I've always kind of felt like a puzzle piece that was cut wrong, if that makes sense; that annoying center piece that just doesn't seem to want to lock into place. You shave it down or force it, and you might even get it into position, but the fact remains that, in the beginning, it was cut wrong and, in the end, it will probably never fit exactly right. That kind of illustrates how I've felt every minute of every day of my life. Hopefully that made sense. I like metaphors.(!) Anyway, I was extremely close to doing something about this a couple of years ago. I had even contacted a therapist who specialized in gender, but I backed out. I did what I tend to do, which is repress. When it comes to repression, I consider myself quite skilled, and will gladly stand up to any challengers. A few weeks ago, circumstances arose that brought it back to the forefront, and made all of those feelings come rushing out of that carefully crafted little box I'd locked them in. Not only that, but the feelings came back even more intense than they had been before, and I've come to realize that if I try to push these things back down, they'll just keep popping up again, probably worse than the time before. So this is something that I'm going to have to deal with and work out. That's why I'm here. (When I said I wouldn't spend a lot of time delving into my sordid past, I didn't promise I wouldn't still spend a lot of time!) Anyway, thanks for welcoming me. I am looking forward to spending some time here!
