An Introduction

Hello, everyone. Here's yet another introduction post, just so you don't get tired of them

My name is Liz, I'm 22, and I currently live in a small town about an hour away from Rochester, New York. I'm the oldest of four sisters, two of whom are insanely straight; I'm not sure about the youngest (she's not quite 13), and my gaydar is absolutely terrible at the moment, but I keep getting gay vibes from her.

I have a lesbian aunt and a gay uncle, both of whom are in committed relationships, but we don't talk much about gay stuff in my family - not ever, actually.

I am a Christian, born and raised; I don't read my Bible or pray as much as I should, but God and me have always been cool, and I like it that way. I don't really fit in in my parents' church, and I hope to find a new church when I eventually move out.

I'm a writer at heart, though I've yet to finish any larger projects. I tend to have a short attention span when it comes to some of my interests. Right now I'm in the world-building/planning stages for a potential fantasy novel (which includes a few gay deity-type-beings and a basically pansexual race, among other things). Other than that, I've written mostly fanfiction (years ago) and a few short stories.

Oh, and I'm a lesbian. I should have figured it out when I was a teenager, when I had a massive crush on a girl at fifteen, or when I could understand why Aragorn from Lord of the Rings wanted to kiss Arwen, but not why she would want to kiss him. As it is, though, it wasn't until college that I started to figure it out. And not because of any experimentation, I might add - I've never kissed anyone, gone on a date, or even been hit on by anyone. No, somehow, at a Christian college, a 20-year-old girl slowly realized she was attracted to other girls.

Right now I'm definitely out to my close friends. As in really, really out. My best friends are all Christians, whom I went to college with, but they've been awesome about this. They actually really like it that I'm gay, just because it's part of who I am. I'm also out to anyone who asks. And to a few surprising people, like my Social Psych professor, whom I came out to in a paper. I haven't actually told anyone in my extended family, though if some of them haven't figured it out, they really haven't been paying attention.

As for my immediate family, my two boy-crazy sisters definitely know, though they never say anything about it. They don't care, but since they're so straight, I don't think they really get it. I told my youngest sister, but I can't be sure whether she understood or not. And my parents... when I came out to them, over a year ago, I was still kind of uncertain, and that came through in the conversation. Since then, it's been mentioned twice that I might be gay. And twice, my parents have tried (once seriously and once jokingly) to set me up with a guy. So it's become evident that I need to come out to them again. Trouble is, I have trouble talking to my parents about important stuff. And honestly, I have no idea how they really feel about this. I know they love me no matter what, but whenever the gay subject comes up anywhere, they're completely silent on the subject. I get no readings from them whatsoever, and it's frustrating.

I mostly joined this forum because I don't really have any gay friends. I love the friends I have, but I thought it would be good for me to talk to other people who know what it's like to be this way. I look forward to meeting some of you.