Hi everyone, im so glad i found this forum. you can call me eetow btw. (pronounce: 'ee' as in 'agree', 'tow' as in 'tow') English is not my first language, hope u understand what im trying to say I am gay.i have admit to my self that i am gay since the day i hit my puberty. Unfortunately, i cant let anybody knows about it, bcoz i believe that in my current circumstances it might do harm to me. I saw What some people say about LGBT, i heard lots my classmates making jokes about gays, i have been rejected by my sister once regarding about my sexuality (we are still taking, but she just pretend that she never heard anything bout my sexuality b4). All of these facts made me think that i am not good enough to live in this world. I thought about suicide once, but i'm glad that i am strong enough to tell to my self "NEVER EVER GIVE UP ON YOUR LIFE!". Coz i believe that one day, i can be happy too. But for now, in the closet looks safe enough. As i said, i feel like im less worthy to live this life compare to others. So i pushed my self each and everyday, trying to make my self worth of something. i try my best to actually perform really well in just about everything. I tried to be the best in my class, i played guitar, try to be funny make everybody laugh, involves in this and that organization. you know... try to make my self as perfect as possible. Without a crack at all. all of these that i thought if i could have it all, people might see me as: "DESPITE THAT YOU ARE GAY, YOU ARE ACTUALLY A VERY TALENTED HUMAN BEING, YOU ARE WORTH TO LIVE" this kind of mind set has been killing me slowly, each and everyday. it feels like, nothing is ever enough, i just want... "I AM GAY, AND I AM MORE THAN FREAKING WELCOME TO LIVE" seems like my self is my biggest enemy. :tears: it is so confusing............ and i really really need someone to talk to ps: sorry for a very sad introduction, but i promise im a very fun guy to hang out with :icon_bigg pss: im so excited to join this forum, hope i could make lots of friends here
