I am a 47 year old woman who fell for a female acquaintance 20 years younger than me. A really sweet and incredibly hot woman, but wow how taboo - talk about midlife crisis! (At a party she suddenly glowed and sparkled, and i followed her around like a puppy, all giddy and tongue-tied.) Here I've been sharing a bed with a man for ten years and raising two kids and feeling spiritually numb. The wife and mother roles offered by this society have hurt me and my creativity. What i need is control over my own body and my own room. Invite-only for guests. Basically, I need independence. I understand there's a drive to want to mate for life, maybe due to biology and evolution, but i think mostly the push is cultural. We've been convinced of marriage by disney and hollywood and the corporate world. Those visions of the white picket fence and nuclear family are not for me. My vision is artist colonies and collectives and child rearing with a group. Is this a midlife crisis? I feel more alive and spiritually grounded than I have in years. My creativity is off the hook! My message for the young women and others of you fortunate to have your own room: Don't give it up. It can be hard to get back and can take years, especially in this economy. Women need to call the shots for ourselves and not have society tell us who owns our minds and our bodies. Fight for your rights, and have sex with who you want - as consenting adults (!) Best wishes. From your friend, a post-marriage-to-a-man lesbian.
Nice to meet you. You're right that life and our emotional states and beliefs aren't black and white like society and Hollywood would portray them, and in my own current situation I can definitely get behind your callout for independence. It sounds like you're going through a lot right now, and you definitely have the right to feel how you feel, I would just make sure you think about it and work things out carefully. Is it a midlife crisis like you asked? I couldn't say, but you don't want to leave behind what you have to find it was a passing fancy. If on the other hand you find that this is really a new piece of yourself, then you probably will want to make some changes. Good luck and I hope you find support and friendship here
Hello and welcome! Glad you found this place. Please feel free to drop me a note on my wall or send me a friend invite if you'd like to chat more about dealing with all of this somewhat later in life than a lot of the great folks here.
