Hey everyone. I don't know where to begin since I feel fairly overwhelmed at the moment. I'm 34, and feel far too old to be questioning my sexuality, but there it is. I have always dated men but have been attracted to women as far back as I can remember--the first significant memory is from when I was about 9 or so. I grew up being taught to feel ashamed about a lot of aspects of myself so this is something I never really let myself dwell on. In my twenties I became part of a very conservative, fundamentalist community and so any feeling I had towards a woman I vehemently pushed down thinking I was under spiritual attack or something, because this is what that church teaches. Note: I am not part of that church nor am I conservative in the slightest. Those were some pretty oppressive years. I've had a few unsuccessful relationships with men and have been trying to get into the online dating scene which has only produced frustration. I was talking (texting) to a good guy friend (who is gay) and he told me I sounded like I was always looking for an exit sign in relationships. That, and I don't put in enough effort. I told him that I haven't been attracted enough to put in that much effort. Which got no reply, but I think it hit me like a ton of bricks: I really am not attracted to men enough to put forth the effort. I have always felt like people thought the term "bisexual" to be a cop-out. Like, make up your mind already. You can't just switch to the other side when you're bored with one. But I am pretty certain that this describes me well. Or...maybe I just want to date girls exclusively. I don't know yet. I think that I have a lot of walls up in my mind and I'm really afraid to take them down. But again...I don't know. What I do know is that I feel overwhelmed, confused, and alone. My best friend is not someone I could ever tell. I'm not close enough to anyone else to talk about it except for the previously mentioned guy friend, but he only came out to me a week ago. I sort of feel like me talking about this would seem opportunistic. Alright. I wrote a book. Sorry to be a drag for this post, but this is just what I feel inside. I hope to meet and talk to some great people on here. Thanks for reading.
Well if it makes you feel any better, I don't think it's a cop-out all. You are what you are, and if what you are is bisexual I don't look down upon that. :]
Hi Nice to meet you. I myself am bisexual so if you're copping out, so am I anyway, welcome to our little corner of the web. I hope you like it here.
Hey, nice to meet you too. I'm looking forward to checking out more of this site--I already feel like I belong here.
Welcome to the EC. (*hug*) It's a really really nice place to hang out and you can be who you are.:eusa_danc
Love is love. For some people attraction is always geared toward a particular sex, and for some people it changes. It is easy to forget that gender isn't necessarily the most relevant part of attraction to another person. Sounds like you are just being honest with yourself. Not a cop-out at all
Well hello there and welcome to the best place on the internet! ^_^ I'm bisexual so if you ever have a question or wanna talk, don't be afraid to message me.
Thanks everyone. I don't think it should matter who we love and I feel capable of loving anyone regardless of gender, etc. I think my hangups are in my head: upbringing, other people's opinions, blah blah. All things that I need to get over.
The biggest thing for me was losing friends. I had some friends who were homophobic, which I didn't know, so when I came out, they stopped talking to me. This had always been my biggest fear about coming out, but if they don't like the real me, they can always leave. c:
^^Word! Hey, anyone--feel free to add me, send a message, or whatever. I love getting to know new people even if it's via the internet.
