Hi everyone :)

Hi everybody I'm pretty happy to have found a site like this!

Not sure how best to introduce myself or what to say really! I'm 21 and training to be a paramedic. Now I guess to the reason why I'm here! Although it is mostly self-explanatory.

I did some guessing in my teenage years about whether or not I could be attracted to conclusion that I did like this girl that I knew. To be honest it really didn't bother me too much, I thought well either it's a phase and it'll be over or I could just simply ignore it as I was still attracted to men. It didn't bother me to the point that I told my best friend at the time, who unfortunately didn't react the way I thought she would. Even after telling her if there was a gay scene on TV or whatever she would still respond to yuck. I actually don't think she believed me when I did tell her. I also told my mother, kinder response but I don't think she believed me and it was one of those, let's just not talk about it thing. So I didn't. And for 4 years I didn't really talk or to be honest think about it. And to be honest I was in a long term relationship with a guy from 16-20 but we did take one break when I told them about my sexuality, I can understand why they thought it may have just phase I suppose.

Well said relationship with said guy ended last year and since then I did have a short term dating relationship with a woman. It didn't last long, mainly due to neither of us really having time to commit to a relationship. After it ended I told some more of my friends. This time I'd been drinking and again I don't think they believed me. So I gave up again. So this year came along and I met a girl that I really like. I've accepted that I like her, and I'm wanting to do something about it (but not sure what). I told my friend who is gay and he's been really supportive which has just been fantastic. I told one other friend who again has been supportive (I told her sober this time) and she really does believe me. But so far no one else. I'm scared to, I don't think I really want to tell them. I have some friends who are really religious and don't approve of homosexuality. Two of whom I may be moving in with next year!

And then the latest kind of strike - or not well strike but really questioning my sexuality. Since my ex and I broke up over a year ago I really do find it difficult to be attracted to men at all! I've dated a couple guys and we've been together but I just don't feel like anythings there. I wasn't sure if it was due to the fact that I've been with one guy for so long or perhaps somehow I've denied the fact that I am actually gay for so long. I really thought I would have known well before now that I'm gay, that I've only been attracted to women really. I can still look at a guy and go, he's good looking, but I don't feel sexually attracted to men anymore. 21 and confused!!

Right now I've written a small essay I'm gonna wander along and good luck to anyone who actually mulls their way through this! Thanks so much though! Even just typing this out has really been nice, to see it down in writing and to feel like I've just let it all out.

 

Thank you for that advise AlexisAnne! I think that will actually really help, the labels and feeling the need to fit into one really can make it stressful

 

Thanks for the welcomes everyone! Seems like a super friendly place to retreat to!

 

Hi Jayareh, it's certainly nice being able to talk to people who understand And just feeling like there is some sort of outlet somewhere I can openly discuss this.

 

Hi Serephina! It certainly can make life a bit awkward when people don't actually believe you, one day they might We'll see!