Seems nice here

Hi everyone! This seems like a great forum.

I'm no stranger to forums or even ones about sexuality (I'm a member of two other LGBT forums but they were either rude or just faded into obscurity) but I sort of missed having an area to talk about things like this.

I've known for nearly my entire life that something about my orientation was... amiss. I chalked it up to my own open-mindedness, unusual school environment (extreme homophobia and bullying in middle school which caused me to be insanely bitter and insular as a tween), and general personal strangeness, but I would have no problem checking out guys in the locker room and greatly enjoying the show. I never thought for a second I was anything other than straight, because all of this happened while having the worst crush of my life (to this day, no less) on a girl.

It never really bothered me, as I've heard stories of people who get genuinely confused or even angry, thinking they're "broken" somehow if they don't think strictly of tits n' ass at all times. I've only ever been with girls, and have gradually been getting more into males, to the point where I finally feel myself wanting an actual relationship and physical affection with a guy.

Funny enough, I've told most of this to my 3+ year girlfriend, who I live with. She's pretty okay with it, actually. Problem is, she wants me to marry her and have her babies. And while I'm all for beautiful blond babies and love the idea of being a father, I feel so sore, like I'm missing out on having a cute teenage boyfriend. There's the sexual curiosity, but my gf and I really conflict more than we should also, and I feel like I might click much better with a male significant other.

So that's most of my "who gets me hot" story. I'm thankful not to need too much reassurance in the self-esteem category, as I'm very comfortable with being bi-curious*. I'm less a case of "don't be afraid" as much as "I've got to do something about it or I'm gonna pop!" :lol: At any rate, thank you, to anybody who made it this far.

*Doesn't mean I'm going to shout it from the rooftops, but I could do with coming a little farther out I suppose.

 

I'd never guess you're new to forums; your reply is just fine. As far as my girlfriend, she and I have even checked out guys together XD even though our tastes don't perfectly overlap. The problem is that if I wanted to actually do anything, it would be cheating, plain and simple. The alternative would be to break up, and she is *hardcore* dead set on marriage. Even if it weren't for the sexuality issues, I have constant debates with myself whether I really want to commit to something like that. <<That's mostly off-topic for this forum I guess, but it does contribute to my desire for exploration. I'm sure it'll crop up again. She's completely gay-friendly, so at least bigotry is out of the question.