Hi everyone I just joined so I wanted to introduce myself. The reason I joined is because I have been questioning my sexuality for the last 10 years. Sure when I was little I made out with girls but I always pretended they were boys. In my teens I just wanted a boyfriend to love me..until I was sexually assaulted. After that I hated men. I had experienced my first female celebrity crush about a year prior to my assault so between my interest in women and hatred of men, I decided to be a lesbian. That lasted a few months. (I was only 14-15). Between my homophobic father and minister mother, I knew liking women was a sin so I could not be bisexual. I forced myself to date men again and when I was 18 I had sex to get it over with. I enjoyed having sex with men but I never felt anything emotionally. Most of the time I never felt anything sexually. I just did it just to do it I guess. I tried relationships with men but those just didn't work. I always find myself breaking up with guys because I dont feel a connection with them and they just seem like good friends. I have not been romantically involved with a woman since college 5 years ago but I have been having sex with men off and on. I don't want to ask the whole am I bisexual or am I lesbian question because I know its been asked a million times and I know its up to me to decide but isn't there some type of criteria I can use to determine what I am? I don't feel satisfied with sex with men I dont find a man's body attractive I see men as friends but not relationship material I can see myself in long term relationships with women Im sexually attracted to women I only watch lesbian porn. I am disgusted by straight porn All of this means Im lesbian right? Even when I quit having sex with men for a year instead of being horny for sex from a man, I yearned for a woman to make love with. I guess I just want to be sure of what I am so that is why I joined. I hope you guys can help me on this journey to discovering who/what i am
Hello, welcome! I read through your post and it's pretty clear to me that you already know who you're attracted to. I'm sorry to hear about your past abuse. But don't let people tell you that that made you gay. I think you liked women prior and didn't have a chance to explore those feelings.
